


Coping Mechanism

by Falling_Future



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hallucinations, Happy Birthday Makoto!! I love you sweetie, Hurt/Comfort, I despise him with every fiber of my being, I'll update the tags as the chapters go along afsgdhjfk, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Island vacation, Mild Blood, Near Death Experiences, Other, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Breakdowns, Psychological Torture, Psychological Trauma, Self-Harm, Trauma, Vacation, and so is everyone else when they find out about his despair breakdowns, death mentions, got this done just in time for best boy's b-day!!, hallucinations and little increments of blood/violence, he just wanted a happy vacation with his wife and friends why can't he be happy, if komaeda is treated like shit in this it's intentional, if they need updating that is, it doesn't get super violent/bloody until a bit later but for now it's just, it's one of these fics but long oop, makoto be havin those despair episodes again, makoto's gonna have a wild vacation time, mental breakdowns, mild violence, post-dr3, starts off happy but turns dark, then it gets kinda happy again before shit gets worse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-02-22 13:01:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 37,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22516528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Falling_Future/pseuds/Falling_Future
Summary: Feeling stressed about running New Hope's Peak, Makoto decides to go on a vacation getaway with Kyoko on the elusive Jabberwock Island where the students of class 77 await their arrival for a few days of fun and relaxation!Except...this dream vacation has ended up being more of a waking nightmare than anything.And Makoto might just snap this time.
Relationships: Kirigiri Kyoko/Naegi Makoto
Comments: 17
Kudos: 89





	1. Chapter 1

Misty sea air sprays against the edges of a boat, a duo looking out over the edge. Beyond the ocean line, a patch of land dotted with jungle flora and smooth pristine sand can be seen, the distance between the two closing. Makoto grips the railing tightly as the boat stutters, coming to a slow as it reaches more shallow parts of the blue-green waters. His head turns seconds before the boat itself does, a set of docks coming into view just a few yards away from the shoreline. A sigh escapes him, body slumping with his arms lazily crossed over the railing, taking in a slow, relaxed breath of the clean air.

The sun welts down upon them high in the sky, something that hasn’t been seen in ages since the tragedy. But now, there was only a bright blue sky, with maybe one or two clouds decorating it. The Ultimate Hope can’t help but smile as he looks up, a memory he isn’t sure is real or not coming to mind. He can imagine himself in elementary school with a scribbled drawing of the sky in his hand, blobs of white meticulously placed around the beaming yellow orb. His memories had gone a tad fuzzy due to the first killing game, as did everyone else, but he could still appreciate it, wether it was false or not.

“Naegi,”

A calm, low voice cuts through his thoughts, his gaze turning back to his partner. Beside him, stands a lavender haired girl. She however, was in a contrasting pose to Makoto’s, standing upright with a set of gloved hands gently gripping the rail. He wasn’t sure how long they had been staring out into the ocean, staring at _Jabberwock Island_ as excitement swells in their chests the closer they got, but it was quite an easy ride!

“Yeah?” He asks, sitting upright. He feels a small ache in his back, but brushes it off. It was probably from slouching like that for so long. Ah well, not like it mattered, because the next week was going to be rest and relaxation galore! Surely something as simple as a small pain in the back could be cured with a little vacation time!

“I’m glad we settled on this.” She smiles at him, warm and genuine. It was rare to see the girl show emotion or affection, but Makoto was the one exception. As reserved as she was, if anyone were able to get her to open up, they’d see her true kindness and integrity. An example of that being this exact trip. Now, they had both agreed on this, however she had brought up the idea of a ‘break’ a little bit ago after she noticed just how exhausted her husband was. And as much as she didn’t like to admit it, she herself had started to wear down too. Running New Hope’s Peak was a challenge to say the least, but at least everyone, no matter their ultimate talent or lack of one, were accepted and treated equally to bring about a new era of hope, and hopefully, a brighter future.

Makoto lets a small chuckle slip past his lips, stepping back from the railing. He nods to her, taking a single step closer towards the girl’s vicinity. “Yeah, me too.” His smile turns into a playful smirk gently nudging her. “Y’know it was a pretty good idea to take us here. Lush, tropical island getaway, nobody around except for our friends, it’s genius Kyoko.”

“Why Makoto I couldn’t possibly take all the credit,” The lavender haired girl teases, allowing the faintest hint of playfulness to slip through. It was surprising, just how much Makoto’s impacted her, and vice versa. She still kept that hardened shell of hers, along with her cold remarks if someone were to get on her nerves, but that thin layer of ice and mystery that coated her since the beginning of the first killing game had long since dissolved. “I insist that I be the tiniest bit humble and give you...ten percent of the credit.”

 _“Ten percent?”_ He laughs, his head resting upon his wife’s shoulder, catching a whiff of lavender passing through his senses. “How generous of you Kyoko.”

Her response is a simple hum, finding it soothing that the pair could finally joke together and well...have fun. Horrible trauma from two killing games seems to drain away any sort of long lasting, enjoyable moments, but that wasn’t to say there was a lack of fun moments between friends during that horrid time, except...they’ve lost most of those friends.

Kirigiri’s hand interlaces with Makoto’s, the two having gone silent when they let their short laughter die down, the docks only a yard or so away as the boat comes to a near stop. Already, they can see a figure waiting for them along the shoreline, making it out to be Hajime Hinata, giving a small, passive wave to them in greeting. They wave back, mirroring his welcome. The strange thing was, it was _solely_ Hajime standing on the shoreline.

The lavender haired girl gives Makoto a puzzled stare, to which he shrugs, just as confused. “Maybe they’re all on the other islands?” That’d make the most sense, and while their visit was rather sudden, they had managed to inform Hajime a few days before they embarked on this journey. It was fine though, they could catch up with everyone once they unpacked.

“Oh, Makoto!” Kyoko turns around, reaching over one of the boat’s faux leather seats and grabbing a small pamphlet. “Jabberwock Island isn’t exactly like the Neo World Program’s, so Hajime sent us a brochure in the mail after we sent him the letter.” She’s a bit surprised she had forgotten to relay such information to him, since it’s rather important.

“How so?” Makoto watches Kyoko unfold the brochure, revealing a map on the top half of the pamphlet, while the bottom half had descriptions of what was to be contained within the island.

“It’s not too much different,” Kyoko starts, pointing out the familiar landmarks, including the fact that they were on the first island, with Hotel Mirai being just a short walk away. “The fourth and fifth island are different. The fourth island is pretty barren right now- I mean, the land’s been cleared but the only building standing is a recreational center and... _a drink stand?”_ She narrows her eyes at the map’s key, unsure if that’s all too accurate. “And the fifth island is uncharted territory, mostly jungle with a series of caves. Hinata-kun said it may have been used as a mine at one point, but he isn’t too sure.”

Naegi just offers an even more dumbfounded look. Mining right on the ocean? Was that even a good idea? “I’m guessing it’s dangerous then,” He affirms, noticing that on said map, the fifth island is littered with red or yellow symbols, signifying the danger it presents to travelers.

“It’s closed off until they can decide what to do with it. They don’t want anyone getting lost and tripping into one of the caves. The girl visibly shivers, and Naegi can’t blame her. The idea of someone stumbling into an old, dreary cave with no way out and nobody knowing until it’s too late is...unsettling.

“Well unless we intend to go spelunking, I don’t think there’s much of a need to go there.” He turns away from Kyoko just as she folds the pamphlet back up, stepping back near the seats to where their luggage rests. He turns to his right, nodding to the boat’s driver as he gathers his things. “Thank you, captain!” He chirps, extremely gracious that Togami had leant them one of his boats, along with a personal chauffeur, even if the billionaire most likely owned twenty variations of the same, small boat.

The captain simply tips his hat in return, the aged man giving a silent nod to him once they’ve completely docked. Makoto honestly considers letting the man stay with them, to enjoy a relaxing vacation with them! He feels bad, he drove this boat all the way out here and he doesn’t get to have his own fun? That was just sad! Everyone deserves their own vacation, right? And who’s to say Makoto can’t share his with this random man?

That...probably won’t happen though, given how _expensive_ that boat must be. Well, expensive in Makoto’s terms, to Togami that’s probably nothing. Speaking of, he can already imagine the young man having taken his personal jet to his personal luxurious resort house on some exotic island. Ah well, people spend their vacation time differently, who’s he to judge? But a sweet paycheck is probably worth a lot more than goofing off on an unknown island for a few days while a very expensive boat could potentially get damaged.

“Hey, Makoto,” Kyoko starts, eyeing the luggage bags in his hands. She leans forward, quick to grab hers so that Makoto doesn’t have to haul around such heavy weight, even if they were just luggage cases that had a rolling function. There was a mild concern striking her. Despite this being a time of serenity and fun, she didn’t want any...bumps to happen. “You packed your medicine, right?” She whispers it to him, knowing that his ‘despair episodes’ as a result of that brainwashing video from the final killing game was a bit of a private, personal matter to him.

It takes him a moment to catch on to what she means, leaning back a little so her can look at her. Realization sparks in his hazel-green eyes, quickly nodding. “Oh! Oh yeah of course!” He was pretty sure he had packed everything, right? Leaving something important as that behind wouldn’t bode well, and it may even be a vacation ruiner. God, the thought of him having a despair episode on what’s supposed to be a fun vacation would be a huge downer.

But hey, it isn't as if he’ll need to take his medicine all that often, since his breakdowns are only triggered by upsetting thoughts or situations. And this, was a time to have as much enjoyment as possible! He’d be surrounded by friends he’d like to get to know better and so many exciting things to try! He didn’t want to make Jabberwock island out to be some kind of attraction, but he can’t say that it’s almost like a personal resort to the ex-remnants, something he’s sure they take great happiness in.

“Hajime!” The boy immediately greets, his luggage case rolling down the wooden dock behind him with Kyoko trailing a few feet from him.

The figure in question strolls up to the couple, a content smile on his face as his heterochromatic gaze flits from one to the other, hands tucked in his pockets. “Naegi-sama!” He knows that the headmaster of New Hope’s Peak is being less formal, given the nature of this trip, but he couldn’t help but use the proper honorifics. He nods to the people who helped him, who never gave up on him and the rest of his class when they were all forced under the will of Enoshima, the two having quite the troubled history with the living embodiment of despair itself.

“How have things been on the island?” Makoto does get a few updates every now and again, mostly letters that tend to take a bit longer to arrive due to the island’s secrecy, save for one or two freight ships coming in to deliver supplies and produce for the inhabitants. But they seem to be alright with being reserved to this island, given their criminal status back in Japan, or any other part of the world really. But hopefully, that dies away soon, and they can come back into society if they wish too!

Hinata steps back onto the sand, Makoto and Kyoko following eagerly. They may find it strange, to see the actual beach of the same island from the Neo World Program as a reality, but that might just make it more of a dream come true for them, and a perfect living space for his classmates. “Great, actually,” He hums, glancing over his shoulder. The marketplace and hotel weren’t too far from here, so that was a plus for the three of them. “We’re uh, trying to add more than a recreational center to the fourth island.”

A withered sigh escapes Hajime, placing a hand over the back of his neck. “Kazuichi-kun says we should build a race track there, but I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” He clearly sounds..exasperated, like that idea was struck over his head multiple times endlessly.

“Ah, well...maybe you guys could c-compromise?”

“What are you afraid of, exactly?” Kyoko asks, already starting to walk in front of him. As nice as it was to catch up, they could surely walk and talk on the way there, right? Call her impatient, but Kyoko was actually invested in meeting with everyone too, so while clumsy banter was all well and good, they should really get a move on.

“Oh!” Naegi glances nervously to Hajime before following suit, the younger boy not trailing too far behind either. Eventually the three of them are walking steadily beside one another. “Uh, Kyoko, what do you mean by him being afraid?”

“It’s alright Naegi-sama,” A hand suddenly rests upon Makoto’s shoulder, Hinata flashing him a reassuring smile. His head turns back to face Kyoko, fully willing to give an explanation. “I think he just wants some kind of crash pit to test out his inventions or something, but it’ll turn into a scrapyard if that’s the case.”

Makoto thinks over Hajime’s concern, raising a hand to his chin as he thinks it over, brow furrowed as he continues to walk. He gasps, a smile forming on his face as an idea strikes him. “Hey what if-”

A loud, roaring sound fills their ears, making everyone abruptly stop. Naegi flinches, stepping back ever so slightly. Kyoko’s expression remains the same, not betraying any confusion nor fear. “What was that, Hinata-kun?” She asks, curious as to what on earth could have created such an unusual noise.

“Ah…” He starts, chewing the inside of his cheek nervously before answering. He raises a hand, pointing off into the distance. “Cattle.”

About several hundred feet away stands what’s known to be the corral, a fence surrounding the area holding a barn and shed within. Typical farm animals such as pigs, sheep, and cattle as Hajime said, all roam about, some separated into different pens. As they walk closer, they could even spot a chicken coop near the back.

 _“Aw!”_ Makoto’s eyes are absolutely beaming at the sight of such cute animals who have clearly been well taken care of by the island’s inhabitants. “They’re adorable, Hajime.”

“Yeah,” Is all he says in agreement, taking a quick look over at the corral to see of all the animals were where they should be. Everything looked alright, so there wasn't any urgent reason to go over there unless there was an emergency. He doesn't expect anything to happen, but it’d be a big schedule conflict considering he’s a tour guide at this point. “You know you guys can hang out and feed them if you feel like it sometime.”

“Really?” Naegi couldn’t contain the excitement in his voice. Holy shit he wants to ride a horse. However a hand placed on his shoulder once again reigns him in, only this time, it’s from Kyoko, a soft smile on her face.

“I’m glad you’re excited Naegi, but maybe we should unpack first?” She doesn’t want to take away any of his fun, but they did arrive with the priority of at the very least unpacking. Then, they could visit the corral! Kyoko wasn’t one for things like petting zoos or farms, especially the idea of stepping in mud mixed with animal waste being a rather foul concept, but the area itself was a grassy plain that looked well maintained, so there didn’t seem to be anything to complain about, not that she would anyway.

“Right, sorry Kirigiri!” He can’t help but feel a heat spread along his cheeks, a tad embarrassed that he had gotten so excited he forgot that they actually needed to arrive at the hotel and unpack.

“You’re allowed to be excited Naegi,” Kyoko comments, warmth dripping from her voice. Her violet gaze meets his, and he could see just as much excitement brimming in her eyes, even though she was far better at containing it. He pauses however, imagining that it must be a strain to look at him with both her eyes like that. One of them had been severely damaged, as did one side of her face when she got poisoned in the final killing game. Thankfully she made it out after being given a cure, but it left a permanent mark on half her face, along with impaired vision.

On the bright side, there was no more reason to conceal it with makeup or having to hide it with her hair out of fear of receiving an odd stare. The students at New Hope’s Peak tended to...give looks if Kirigiri didn’t conceal that side of her face, which while a bit insensitive, was a natural reaction to an abnormality like that, especially for young children. He just wishes she didn’t have to hide it so often...she was beautiful regardless if she had scars or not! But he wouldn’t press her, since it was her choice to decide wether or not she’d hide it.

He realizes he’s been staring too long and passes it off with a cheery smile, the pair approaching what looks to be a fine, sleek hotel bathed in a golden beige. The words _“Hotel Mirai”_ were inscribed near the building’s entrance, the trio carefully stepping around the pool.

Makoto glances from left to right, finding something to be absent. “Hey, aren’t there supposed to be cottages?” It was strange, seeing nothing but a cobblestone path lining the way that transitions into nothing more than a sandy beach.

“Oh they’re uh, in the back.” Hinata starts, having to explain that the real Jabberwock Island’s layout wasn’t exactly the same as the NWP’s, but he’s sure they already knew that. “Sorry, we couldn’t really...manage to build the cottages in the front. It’s kind of a poor design choice, y’know? Kinda blocks the view of the ocean and stuff.” He pauses, clicking his tongue as he gestures a bit awkwardly to the hotel. “You just...go through a door near the back of the hotel lobby and...you’re at the docks!”

It was mostly the same, really, just a different location. It was a stretch of sturdy wooden dock that separated towards each individual cottage, all lined up on either side. Hajime had taken it upon himself to let them rest in a spare cottage, one that was... _never used._ Which is fine! It just makes it easier for guests such as Naegi and Kirigiri to get accustomed to their cottage! Sure, something like bungalows would’ve fit the more tropical aesthetic of the island, but they had enough resources to build cottages! Maybe they should start looking into building bungalows though.

When Makoto and Kyoko step through the hotel doors, a rush of unknown nostalgia hits them. They remember this well from the program, having to monitor it for so many long, grueling hours. But to be within it, to be inside the real lobby of Hotel Mirai, well...it was strange to say the least. Some things remained the same, like the structure, but things like wall color, flooring, and even some of the furniture differed. The receptionist’s desk was in the same spot as always, along with the stairs a few feet away from it.

The lobby had been filled with more ‘updated’ arcade games for better enjoyment and activity, and off to the left side were two couches across from each other, a coffee table resting between them. It seemed pretty nice all things considered, just a small, quaint resting area.

“And as you know the cafeteria is upstairs,” Hajime points over to the aforementioned set of stairs near the far wall that led up to a large room with long tables and a balcony. The pair weren’t sure if they’d need it necessarily, other than having a meal in private, but it might be of use during their stay! “We don’t uh- well, it’s not a ‘restaurant’ but more like...a place to eat, y’know? Usually my friends and I will grab something from the marketplace and come upstairs to eat! Sometimes we prepare meals on special occasions though.”

“That’s great Hajime.” Makoto was glad that Hinata and his friends were doing so well on their own, despite being cut off from other people and local resources. But that’s what supply shipments were for! “Do you ever get any tourists? Or anybody washes up on the shore?”

Hajime chuckles, a bit entertained by the idea. “Eh, sometimes. Usually some castaway or a couple on a boat who strayed too far from their course. They don’t stay very long though since it technically doesn’t count as a resort. But hey, maybe one day we could all turn this place into one, and tourists would show up...but we prefer the quiet life in all honesty.”

“That’s-” The young man stops in his tracks, looking around the lobby that was now only occupied by two people. “Kyoko?” He turns, nearly stepping over his own feet until he spots a lavender colored figure a little ways away from the lobby. “Ah! Kirigiri!” He follows after her, trailing into a hallway with a glass pane installed on one side, revealing the outdoor pool to them. It was a nice view, but not very functional unless someone wanted to rest in silence here. “H-Hey, where’d you go?”

Kyoko glances over to Hajime, then to her husband, a brow raised. “I thought you two were following?” She had honestly thought they were trailing behind her, talking and laughing. Only now did she realize that she had separated from the group. “Forgive me, I suppose I have a one-track mind right now.” The fact that she was so solely focused on getting to the cottage an unpacking further proved her eagerness to get things going. She and Makoto could enjoy themselves without having to stress or worry over things like filing school records or him having another episode. From now on, they’d have nearly an entire week to spend together on a tropical getaway.

“Hey Kyoko, could you pass me the sunscreen?”

Makoto looks up from his luggage case he had practically thrown onto the plush, silk bed of the cottage, the pair having left the front door open for any visitors who may want to greet them. But that would be unlikely, since they seemed to be scattered about on the island. He recalls passing by the marketplace, wondering if anyone was in there. The corral was definitely lacking in people, so it’s most likely they were on the other islands, well the ones that weren’t under construction or closed off at least.

There’s a soft “Uhm-” from Kyoko, the lavender haired girl rifling through a small bag she packed with hygienic necessities. “Ah.” She tosses him a medium sized bottle of sunblock, to which the boy fumbles with in his hands, nearly dropping it before getting a good grip on the bottle.

“Thank you!” He chirps, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to her cheek as a form of gratitude, earning a short gasp from the girl. He can see her face tint pink for a moment, the girl not really used to affection, whether it be given or received. But Makoto does his best to display his adoration for her, while also keeping her boundaries in mind. Too much PDA could be a bit of a problem, but nothing of a huge concern for the duo.

“You said you wanted to view the corral, right?”

Makoto shrugs, having changed his mind while they were unpacking. “I think it’s better if we catch up with the other students first, I don’t want to seem rude or anything by not showing up asap!” Makoto was already putting his own enjoyment and wellbeing above others, and they’ve barely unpacked yet! Not that it was a bad thing, but he and Kyoko had come here to take time for themselves, and surely it wouldn’t be that big of a deal if he wanted to do something else before regrouping with the other students, right?

Kyoko looks up from her luggage case, staring at Makoto with an inquisitive look. They lock eyes for a moment before she folds her arms, raising a brow as a sly smirk appears. “Are you afraid the chickens will peck you?”

“ _Psh,_ no!” He pauses. “M….Maybe.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you from them,” Kyoko adds, walking over to her partner’s side and kissing his cheek as a form of loving revenge for his own surprise kiss. “We can’t have the Ultimate Hope covered in chicken pecks, now can we?”

“No,” Makoto stifles a laugh, shoulders tensing. “G-Guess not.”

A warmth spills into his heart, something soft and angelic gracing it. It felt...wonderful. It was wonderful to make these little jokes, to laugh and look forward to so much. His smile turns dreamy as he watches Kyoko finish her unpacking, his mind drifting off into that sensation of butterflies fluttering in his chest.

However, he’s snapped out of it by another laugh. He bristles, the world around him seeming to turn drab and dark in the blink of an eye. It sounded... _really familiar…_

It appears again, and this time it’s a cynical cackle, the boy quickly turning around only to see a familiar monochrome bear peering it’s head into the opened door. As soon as Makoto’s eyes rest upon the little hellspawn however, it removes itself from sight in an instant. His gaze turns wide and shaky, what was once a beautiful feeling now crushed with dread, his chest feeling like it’s being compressed into a tight ball.

“H-Hey!” He screams, dashing out of the cottage. He skids on his heels, looking into the direction of where he saw that...demonic bear. He swallows hard, pupils having turned to pinpricks as he frantically searches around the cottage. He even looks up to check the roof, only to find nothing but the sun beaming down on it. He takes uneven, shallow breaths, practically slamming himself into the railings of the docks surrounding the sides of the cottage.

He leans forward, his grip shaking and knuckles turning white as he peers over the edge, only to find calm, ocean waters. No, no it has to still be around! _It was just here!_ He leans further and further, pressing his feet against the lower set of the railing bars, his waist halfway over the top railing. If he could just...look underneath… He can feel his body begin to give way, keeping an iron tight hold on the railing as he tries to inch his body further to get a good look.

Just when he’s about to view the underside of the docks does something grab him. He screams as he’s hauled back, envisioning claws sinking into his skin, hot pink dripping off the edge of the dock and into the clear water below. He finds himself standing, perfectly intact. His assailant, or savior in this case, was none other than his wife, shock plastered over every one of her features.

 _“What are you doing?”_ Her question has a sharp, almost angered tone to it, but most of it comes from immediate concern. _What the hell was he thinking?_ Sure, looking over the railing was fine, but...he was about to fall over the side! And yes, he could swim back over to the island, not to mention the waters were pretty shallow, but he could’ve hit his head on the way down! Or stepped on something sharp! She didn’t know if this place was cleared of any hazardous material, or if it had it to begin with, but unless Hajime gave the okay then now was not the time for an impromptu swim.

Naegi can only stare at her, confusion immediately followed up with embarrassment. He looks out into the sea one more time before returning to his wife who was expecting an answer. “I dunno,” He winces internally, knowing it wasn’t good enough to excuse his blatant disregard for safety. His lips form into a hollow frown, his hazel stare casting down to the wooden floor. “I thought I just...saw something.”

He doesn’t see it, but Naegi can hear a slow, soft sigh come from Kyoko, any tension she held for the boy dropping. Her voice cuts through to him, much softer than the question she had demanded moments ago. “What did you see?”

“A-A crab,” He lies quickly, knowing it’s the answer Kyoko expects. He doesn’t want to alarm her about this, and...he wasn’t sure if what he saw was real. It could’ve been anything! Including a mirage or trick of the mind! Maybe him having to not worry about anything and have fun on a tropical island was making him see things that are the opposite, like the negativity was trying to pull him back in.

The lavender haired girl raises a brow at this, slowly walking over to the railing and peering over the edge. She can just barely see the sandy floor if the waves became still enough, but there was no sign of a big disturbance. “I don’t really...see a crab Makoto. But I’m pretty sure we could just...buy a live one at the supermarket.” Was it ridiculous to buy live shellfish that was meant for consumption only to be used as entertainment? Yes. But did Kyoko love Makoto and want him to be happy with a crab? Absolutely.

“I-It was an albino crab!” He squeaks, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, a mix between a grimace and a grin appearing on his face. “Y-yeah it was like...almost white. It was really weird.”

“So...a ghost crab?” She smiles at him, feeling whatever sparks of negativity from Makoto’s encounter disappear with her lighthearted words.

“Y-Yeah, maybe!”

“Could be why you can’t find it,” She suggests, backing away from the railing. “But you might be able to find this 'ghost crab' again.”

“Eh?” Naegi shoots her a puzzled look, the pair walking away from the railing. He can’t help but glance over his shoulder one more time in suspicion before they’re back on the main strip of the dock, beginning to stroll down it, ready to head to the third island.

“Well, if they have the resources, we could go scuba diving.” She saw in the brochure that the beach house may have _‘deep sea exploration’_ which, normally would mean something along the lines of exploring a trench in a submarine, but obviously they weren’t equipped for that, so the closest thing to that would be scuba diving!

“That sounds wonderful Kiri,” It really did! Underwater exploration seemed really cool! He’s never really tried such a thing before, and he doubts he ever really had the chance to, but now an opportunity has arisen to view the beautiful, colorful ocean floor while observing all kinds of tropical fish! It’d be like a dream, at least how he’s imagining it would certainly seem like one.

He gasps shortly, Kyoko pausing from their stride along the dock, just barely a few feet from the hotel’s back entrance now. She turns to see a rather adorable sight, Makoto with his eyes wide and bright, practically beaming full of stars as he balls his hands up into small fists excitedly. “What if they have dolphins?”

There’s a moment of silence, and Kyoko isn’t too sure how to respond to that. But, with a half smile and a push of a door, she has the perfect answer. “I hope you see a dolphin Naegi, maybe we could head out on a smaller boat and go dolphin watching.” It’d be another activity they could add to their list of a fun vacation. They hadn’t exactly _planned_ anything thoroughly, just that they’d arrive and catch up with friends while having wonderful escapades on the side.

“You think they have a big enough boat?” Naegi scratches his cheek, turning around and not really realizing that he walked backwards into the hotel’s lobby, his focus solely on the lavender haired girl. He knew she was one to contain her emotions, a bit of a contrast to him, but he really hopes she’s just as excited about dolphins as he is! But that does beg the question, did the island have any boats? It didn’t seem like it. And any shipwrecks that wind up on shore were most likely salvaged into scrap metal.

“I’m sure they have a raft or two somewhere.” She imagines they’d be kept in the beach house, right? It’d be the most rational conclusion. Maybe there were kayaks too! She wasn’t sure what use they’d bring, but it’d make for an easy trip out into the ocean to stare at some of the sea life down below, but why look at the fish from the surface when they could go diving right beside them?

“Maybe one of the rafts will be super tricked out because of Kazuichi-kun.” A snort leaves Makoto at his own joke, already envisioning such a thing. A raft with several large, decked out motors and the entire thing would be propped up with metal lining, it’s use unknown, other than a huge speed boost.

“I can see it.” Kyoko can absolutely picture such an outlandish thing as well, despite how strange it may be. There was no limit to any of the ex-remnants imaginations, and talents after all.

As the two walk, Makoto’s struck with a feeling of tightness in his chest, the pair already halfway across the bridge to the central island. He wasn’t sure what spurred it on, but the more he looked at Kyoko, the girl who was ahead of him with her back to him, created some kind of...ache in the boy. Why was guilt suddenly crawling it’s way up into his mind, ready to whisper the most degrading things about himself? His walk comes to a slow, his own thoughts starting to wander off.

He takes each step as if it’s automatic, no longer even thinking about where he’s moving or what the destination is. He can only see his wife moving ahead, progressing further and further without him.

_She’d do so much better without him._

It’s the first negative thought that strikes him, Naegi just barely catching it. He doesn’t have a sudden realization though, just allows it to roll off his back as more twisted gospel fills his ears, only hearing of his own failures and that he was bound for damnation sometime soon. A notion he didn’t testify against, but rather, began to accept. Why was he even visiting these people he has the audacity to call friends? These ex-war criminals were far better than him! They ultimately changed for the better, and yet...all Makoto seems to do is get people killed with his own existence.

_And it’s a pitiful one at that._

The brunette doesn’t even notice that his shoes were now in soft, plush grass, the Jabberwock statue nothing more than blurred background noise as his own thoughts begin to consume him. He makes a slow glance at a bench before coming to a halt. He can’t seem to take his gaze off it, despite it being a normal, average bench. There was nothing special about it, yet this normal, boringly plain bench has committed far less offenses than he had, directly or indirectly.

“Naegi?”

He blinks, soon being brought back down to earth, spotting a slightly confused Kyoko standing next to Hinata, the two standing right beside the bridge to the third island. “We’re...heading to the music venue, you said you wanted to go, right?”

Oh, he wants to go. He wants to dine and drink and have fun. But he’ll fuck it up soon enough. That’s how it always goes, doesn’t it? So, he smiles, gently raising a hand. “N-No thanks,” he stammers, trying to hide the glumness in his tone. “I mean, I-I’ll catch up with you. Just give me a few minutes, alright?”

He’s met with two quizzical looks, one at him, and the next at each other. Hinata is the first to speak up, taking a step forward. “You're sure?” He offers, not wanting to force the boy into going with them, but also trying to nudge him out of whatever sudden bout of hesitance he has. “Mioda-san’s there! She’ll be performing live, and I don’t think you should miss it!”

“I’ll catch an encore if I’m too late,” He jokes half-heartedly, unsure if there’s actually going to _be_ an encore. But whatever it takes to give him some quiet, to get Kyoko and Hajime away from someone so undeserving of care and attention.

There’s a strangely soft, “ _Alright,”_ from Hajime, the boy heading back to the start of the bridge. “Take all the time you need. This is your vacation after all.” After giving the boy a thumbs up, he turns away, walking along the bridge with ease.

Kyoko doesn’t immediately follow, locking eyes with Naegi. She can see that the vibrance in his eyes moments ago has dulled completely, like a light that had been snuffed out. “Are you alright?” It was blunt and sudden, but clearly there was an issue. No matter how big or small, the way it had affected Naegi needed immediate attention.

“Yeah, sorry! I just-” Naegi cuts himself off with a defeated sigh, walking over to the bench he called plainly average and sitting on it, his eyes not leaving Kirigiri’s. “I’ll catch up, I promise.”

“Naegi you seem upset-”

 _“No,”_ He responds a tad too quickly, making him tense when he sees Kyoko’s gaze narrow in suspicion. He says it with a smile though, regardless of how fake it is. “I guess it’s finally sinking in about how stressful being the headmaster really is.” He shrugs, leaning back against the metal seat. “I love it, I really do, but the workload, all that pressure to make sure these students have the best experience...it’s a lot. And you know that too.”

There’s silence, the air crisp with an unknown tension. As much as Kyoko would like to rebute, this could just simply be him wanting to rest and think for a few minutes before he dives right into the excitement. It kind of made sense? He was full of energy a good portion of this morning, ready to take on any adventure. So now, he must be on a burnout, letting reality hit him for just a short time. And work _was_ hell, even as vice-headmaster she was nearly overbooked every day, and she nearly hurt her wrist from writing so often!

“I’ll...save you a drink then. But please come over soon, it’d be...really nice to have you there.” A single nod ends the conversation before Kyoko turns away, swiftly walking along the bridge to the third island in order to catch up with Hinata, Makoto watching her form get smaller until his mind drifted elsewhere.

See? They were fine! Perfectly fine and content without him to drag them down. He had done a good thing just then, but it was nothing to brag home about. So he-

_What was he doing?_

He leans back, head facing the open, sunny sky before shutting his eyes tight, a soft, exasperated groan leaving him. No, he couldn’t, and _wouldn’t_ let these thoughts get to him! He wasn’t going to allow another ounce of negativity poison his mind and ruin what was supposed to be a wonderful vacation! Kirigiri loves him, and Hinata-kun was more than happy to have him here! And he’s sure his friends will too! He smiles, thinking about what kind of fun memories they could all create together. Swimming, diving, all sorts of entertainment, it was the ideal perfect getaway! And no amount of negative thoughts of self hatred could tear it down and destroy it! He wouldn’t give in! He’d-

Something darts from the corner of his eye, and he quickly snaps his attention to the Jabberwock statue. It seems fine, the park still save for the gentle, tropical breeze. That is of course, until a small figure pops out from behind the corner, paws pressed to it’s permanent half grin, an elated, dreadfully familiar chuckle echoing in the boy’s head

“Well well, look who’s all alone!” The monochrome bear places it’s paws on it’s hips in a triumphant manner, Makoto too gripped with fear to move. His chest tightens and _oh god_ it feels like it’s going to crush him just like that damned execution. Each thump of his heart takes him back to the loud, deafening thud of a machine threatening to bare down on him, to smash him like some insignificant bug. Sweat forms along his brow, clutching at his chest and taking heavy, strained breaths.

A tiny, squeaky whimper is all he can manage as another Monokuma pops out, identical to the first. The second bear attempts to wriggle it’s way onto the statue’s platform, pointing an accusing claw at Naegi.

“Where’s all your friends Makoto? Oh wait! They hate you! _Every. Last. One._ ”

“I-” He bites his lip, searching for an excuse. No, his friends cared about him, right? But he...sent most of them to their deaths. Oh god why is the smashing getting louder? Why is the island thrumming to the heavy metallic thud like something monolithic had just shaken the whole earth? Tears well in his eyes as one by one, more and more Monokumas pop out, chastising the poor boy.

“Looks like someone needs a pick-me-up!” One chimes in from behind a bush.

“Yeah, and alcohol sure as hell won’t do! That stuff’s not good enough for wimps like him!” Another teases, the first few beginning to make their way towards him. The way they move is...jerky. One moment, they’re walking just fine, and the next, they twitch or spasm before they’re suddenly much closer than before.

“I think he knows he likes it deep down!”

“Cheaper than therapy, that’s for certain!”

“Come on egghead, you’re already a disappointment to your friends and family, don't you wanna disappoint ‘em some more?” An anguished scream is the straw that breaks the camel’s back, as does the Monokuma that reaches from behind Naegi to plop on the top of his head, batting at his ahoge.

“No!” He cries, whirling around and stepping away from the bench, nearly slipping in the process. “N-No, I won’t!”

“Oh but you will!” A Monokuma grabs onto his ankle, earning a startling shout from the boy. He raises his leg, attempting to shake the little cretin off, only for five more to latch onto his leg like parasites, and soon enough, both his legs are firmly planted by a steadily rising sea of Monokumas.

They seem to just be materializing from nowhere at this point, doubling in size as they strut out of the bushes, drop from the trees...hell, some are even crawling out from the water and making a swift jog towards the boy just to dogpile on him.

“Please,” He whimpers, tears streaming down his cheeks as he’s forcefully shoved to the ground, the weight of black and white bears falling upon his body, pinning him in place. He gasps before immediately choking, breaking out into a coughing fit as the horrid chants escalate.

“What a little crybaby! Guess he can’t handle his dead classmates, huh?”

“Hajime’s less of a loser than you! He managed to move on even though he suffered ten times as much as you! So I think a psychological examination is in order!”

“Yeah!” One shouts, pounding his fists on top of Naegi’s head. He’d break out into a sob, were it not for the intense wheezing fit he was currently having. He’d much rather cry than desperately choke for an ounce of air, something crushing his poor lungs as his weakening mind fills with flash images of his dead friends, and an entire army of Monokuma’s taking over the world.

_And it was all his fault._

A throat shredding scream leaves him again, lasting longer this time. He squirms before choking again, saliva forming up past his lips. The intentional squirming turns into involuntary spasms as his body eats at itself, needing oxygen so dearly.

“Aw Naegi, no need to get so... _choked up!_ ”

All at once, a symphony of maddened laughter drowns out any other noise, including his cries of mercy. He wanted it to stop, he wanted to stop thinking about what he did and just have a good vacation! But a vacation, let alone his current predicament, is the last thing on his dwindling mind. All his thoughts are filled with, is of his dead friends, glowering down at him with disappointed scowls and frowns. 

He coughs again, his body starting to give in as more and more Monokumas pile onto his body, his vision becoming a mass of black and white. He tilts his head back, chest rising and falling dramatically as he gasps like a fish taken out of the water. He swears that amongst all the sickening laughter, he can hear the familiar giggle of a pigtail wearing female, her grip of despair still holding tightly as ever, even if the world had moved on from her.

Naegi’s vision bleeds pure red, his body stiffening for just a moment before his boy goes limp, eyes rolling into the back of his head as a bright, red light consumes his vision, a small trail of saliva and tears falling from his face as his choking finally comes to a stop, his mental break and lack of air finally making him succumb to unconsciousness, the giggling not ceasing even as he slips away into darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

An intense scream rings throughout the island, a pair quick to turn their heads at the gutteral sound. They had only gotten partway across the bridge when they were alerted, not unlike the screech of a dying animal being used as a warning siren. Kyoko and Hajime waste no time, out of sync footsteps slamming against the fine wood of the bridge, wind whipping against the duo’s faces. Kyoko should’ve known than to leave Naegi on his own when he was acting... _ odd, _ but she had brushed it off. In hindsight, she made the very poor decision to simply put it aside, and blame it on nerves. She was so caught up in the thought of not pressing Naegi, of not stressing him during their vacation so that they could actually enjoy it, that she ignored taking a second glance at the whole thing.   
  
This was  _ not  _ going to happen twice, Kirigiri would make sure this wouldn’t slip through her fingers again and endanger Makoto. Even if the boy begs for her to not worry, she just wouldn’t be able to agree, not after the gut wrenching shriek that just echoed throughout the island. She glances at Hajime when she catches him mumbling something in agitation before the two are back on lush, green grass, the ex-remnant standing frozen in both awe and dread while the detective rushes to Naegi’s side.   
  
She bites back a curse, something far informal for the situation at hand. The first thing their eyes had laid upon was a figure sprawled on the ground, a pink splatter decorating both the unconscious boy’s head, as well as an edge on the park’s centerpiece, the statue’s smooth stone now painted in hot pink. Kirigiri crouches, gently placing one hand on his abdomen and the other on his back, slowly lifting his limp body partially. The wound was that of a leaky faucet, the slightest ounce of movement or pressure allowing more of the copper scented liquid to trickle freely down the boy’s face. Kyoko searches for any form of response, anything from a knee-jerk reaction to a vague twitch.   
  
Her racing heart slows just the slightest at the sign of his eyelids twitching when the blood happens to reach a corner of his face, indicating that whatever, or,  _ whoever  _ caused this injury did not horribly affect him. Obviously, she still had her reservations, and God forbid she cast the issue to the side like she did the first time, lest it result in Makoto suffering internal bleeding or at the worst, brain damage.   
  
“Come on,” She starts, head turning towards the still stunned boy. Hajime seems to take a moment to actually process what she’s saying before snapping out of his shocked trance.   
  
“Oh! Right, I-” He pauses, deciding that stumbling over words was just wasting precious time. Naegi could be seriously injured! For all they knew he had a gash that bore deep into his skull from the injury he had acquired. He’s by her side in an instant, helping to lift the Ultimate Hope from his grassy bed and into his arms. It would be best if Hinata carried him, considering he was more fit to carry heavier weight for an extended period of time.   
  
The concerned gaze laced within the set of pale lavender eyes does not waver, a gloved hand delicately tracing two fingers at the source of the wound. A sting ripples through her body, flinching hard from the reaction. She pulls her fingers back, pure disgust formed into an icy chill from when they had dipped deep into a gash upon his head, clean fabric now stained with pink. 

  


“It’ll get infected if we don’t do something soon,” There’s a single pause, the blood on her fingers striking something within her. She wasn’t queasy around blood, not by any means, but this being her  _ husband’s _ , the thought of him being her next coroner report, all the horrid nightmares… She wouldn’t let such dark scenarios become a reality, not in a lifetime.    
  
“Where’s Tsumiki-san?” Her voice breaks that time, her resolve crumbling just the slightest. She steps ahead of him, already making her way towards the bridge as she clears her throat. “He needs to be treated immediately.” Her response is the boy rushing past her, the limp figure still dangling in his arms. She takes off seconds after them, blood rushing in her ears as her eyes linger on Naegi. His head was tilted far back in Hinata’s grip, a single arm hanging uselessly and swinging about as they ran. She frowns, fully aware that they can’t take things slow with a literal emergency, but doesn’t wish for Makoto to sustain any more damage that could be inflicted upon him, internal or not.

  


The sudden gust of wind means nothing to her, nor does the rattling of palm leaves and the distant sound of watery mist being swept away by wind. A single glance towards the shore shows that the waters had grown darker than they previously were, and it’s safe to assume that rainfall would be approaching soon. She doesn’t care about how surprising it is, considering her and Naegi went to vacation during a week that would be mostly sunny, but it was a tropical rainforest, meaning it’s title had to mean something. So long as they got to the hospital before the rainfall occurred, they wouldn’t have any trouble.   
  
_ “Shit.”  _

The girl behind Hajime skids on her heels as the bridge turns to pavement, the two now settled on the third island. He sighs, the hospital a short walk away. He slows his pace, his heartbeat loud enough for the whole island to hear. He was cut out for running, but the sheer panic of the circumstances seemed to put a damper on such a skill. He swallows a dry lump in his throat, silently praying that Mikan would be available for an emergency. He knows that there’s one other patient, one who if laid their eyes upon the unconscious beacon of hope, something would go wrong. He tries to repress a snarky thought about said patient being quarantined, since Naegi’s treatment was above any petty thoughts right now.

  


“What’s wrong?” Kyoko briskly catches up to him, her gaze mainly focused on Naegi. The blood had started to dry, but the wind from Hinata’s running must’ve blown some of it back, particles of bright pink mixing in with soft chestnut locks.

  


“I’m...not sure if Mikan is actually here right now.”

  


Kyoko falls silent, tossing him a dejected look. “Hinata-kun he could have damaged his skull,” She explains calmly, despite the severity in that statement. “What do you mean you don’t know?”   
  
_ “I mean I don’t know!” _ He huffs, rolling his eyes as a deep breath of air flows into his lungs. Despite his physique, anyone would be worn out, if not cranky, that they had to run across a bridge with a limp, unconscious body in their arms, only to realize they may have made a slight error. He shakes his head firmly, head lowered towards the boy, a single shoe tapping in irritation.

  


“Okay,” He starts with an exaggerated sigh, attempting to channel his swelling tide of anger. “What I meant was, Mikan could be on any one of the other islands. She could be hanging out with some of the others, o-or she went to get another shipment of medicine.”   
  
“Didn’t you say she had another patient?” Kyoko had a habit of calling one’s practices, and even authority into question depending on just how well she trusted them or believed in the idea being put forth, and the ex-remnants were no exception. As an Ultimate Nurse, wouldn’t consistent patient monitoring be a given? “I don’t think it’s wise to leave the ill to tend to themselves, especially when you don’t have any other medical staff on duty.”   
  
The taller boy finally gives into his exhaustion, slowly crouching down onto the hot ground whilst trying to maintain the body in his arms. He manages to do so, legs crossed with Naegi in his lap. He perks up at the sound of a soft moan, noticing very subtle movement from the soft brunette. “ _ Sorry, _ I forgot that I was supposed to hire more staff for this  _ top secret island  _ that only a single organization knows about, but I’m sure people would be  _ lining up _ to work with ex-terrorists.”   
  
“Hinata-kun, I-” She pauses, taking a single step forward. Her lavender stare casts downward, shame burning bright within her. She honestly should’ve taken that into account, but for a brief moment, she had forgotten why they were actually here. Plenty of convicts and criminals had been sent to remote islands to spend the rest of their days on, she’s pretty sure that’s how a particular continent came to be after all. But now that it was put into perspective, that the seemingly blinding joy of a relaxing getaway made her forget the true reason these people who never got to really have a life, were sent here. Naegi had viewed it as protecting them, shielding them as wanted criminals, which was true, but there was also the fact that they were essentially trapped, at least until the heat on them had died down. And while it has, there was still hatred being harbored towards them for assisting in the Tragedy.

  


“I didn’t mean to snap, I guess we-” She crosses her arms, still finding it hard to keep her eyes on him. “I guess we’re both under stress about Naegi-kun.”

  


Hinata pauses, head perking up as the girl’s words reach into him. The tenderness in her voice was something that only Makoto ever got to hear in her most personal moments, so it catches his attention immediately. “Yeah, that’s...I-I’m sorry for snapping too, I don’t want Naegi-sama to be super injured either.”   
  
“Maybe we should move along then?”   
  
“Oh! Yeah, r-right, my bad.” He hauls himself back up with Naegi in tow, the pair quickly entering the hospital. They’re instantly greeted with cool, refreshing air, Hinata visibly sighing at the small amount of relief. Kyoko glances around, noticing there was a registration desk, but all it happened to be was a whiteboard hanging up on the wall with a list of patients checked in and out written in messy scribblings. To her right was a row of chairs mirroring each other amongst the tiled pattern floor and soft yellow walls, leading all the way down into what she assumes was where Mikan’s patients were inspected. And upstairs, from what she remembers, is where the sick and injured patients are housed for the time being.

  


There’s silence, save for the rather noticeable blowing of an air conditioner, the boy beside Kyoko clearly growing more impatient by the minute. She turns when she notices Hajime lean towards her, his heterochromatic eyes piercing with annoyance. “If Tsumiki-san doesn’t show up in five minutes, we may have to patch up the injuries ourse-”   
  
“S-Sorry! I’m coming!”   
  
There’s a timid shout from the top of the stairs, the sound of footsteps thumping on each step making their hearts stutter in relief. Their hope sparks to its highest peak upon seeing the Ultimate Nurse stumble out, nearly tripping on the last step before dusting off her apron. She waves to them with a smile, giving a greeting she’s most likely recited many times over. “What can I help you wi- O-Oh gosh!”   
  
Her hands fly to both her cheeks, mouth agape with wide eyes locked onto Naegi, her frail, bandaged body trembling. “Wh-What happened? I didn’t know y-you would be visiting so soon!” Her scared demeanor immediately turns to disappointment, a pout laced on her lips as she tears her gaze away. “Oh, and it’s a-already been ruined! One of you got hurt!”

  


“It’s fine, Tsumiki-san, we’d prefer to focus on Makoto at the moment.” Mikan was...timid, to say the least. And while both she and Hinata were running thin on patience, it was vital to not overwhelm the girl.

  
“Think you could give him a look?” Hajime raises his arms slightly, as if offering the boy to Mikan. She nods slowly, quickly transferring the damaged boy into her own grip. She may have had a rather shy and weak demeanor, but it genuinely stunned Kyoko to see her able to carry the boy’s weight, even if it was with a little bit of trouble. Hinata sticks close just in case she was unable to haul him all the way at the end of the hall, Kyoko trailing behind. She was still a bit surprised that she had barely left Naegi to himself for five minutes and he got a concussion of all things! It wasn’t that she didn’t trust him on his own, not by any means, but she couldn’t help but believe there was something more going on than Naegi trying to ‘settle’ into this vacation, or contemplating whether he’s deserving of it. Then again, he could’ve slipped…   
  
_ But Kyoko was no fool. _   
  
She’s examined enough corpses to notice the indications of self infliction, something she knows Mikan will confirm in the next few minutes. The door opens for them, Hajime holding it open and guiding them inside, trying to comfort Kyoko with a reassuring smile as she strides past him. Something seems to be troubling her, at least, from what he saw in the brief second they locked eyes. It was probably just stress from Naegi being injured was all, nothing more to look into, right?

  


He’s moments away from shutting the door when the soft clink of a bell, followed by angered, intentional stomps fill the room. He looks down the hall and into the lobby, seeing a figure donned in mostly black fuming with his arms crossed, although it was a bit hard to be taken seriously because of the soft, blushed cheeks accompanying said scowl.   
  
_ “What. The. Fuck.” _ Three words was all Hajime needed to know that he was about to be mixed up in another whirlwind of problems, sighing in resignation as he strolls over to Fuyuhiko.    
  
Given just how swell this day was going, he asks his next and most likely not last question of the day in a huffed tone. “What happened now?” Hinata tilts his head to the side, shoulders slumped as he looks on with disappointment, most likely how the rest of his day is going to go at this rate.   
  
And oh boy was he right.   
  
“The dog got loose and escaped the hospital.” The blonde’s answer is short and simple, his furious stare locked onto Hajime’s.   
  
He has to do a double-take at that. “I-I’m sorry, dog?” As far as he was aware, Mikan hadn’t adopted a ‘hospital dog’ or whatever the hell Fuyuhiko was going on about. Oh the island had its fair share of wild dogs, but there were very few classmates who were moronic enough to actually try and tame one, let alone walk up and pet it.

  


The other boy’s hand raises, balled into a fist with his thumb pointing towards the door, his angered look becoming a deadpan frown. Hajime’s head turns towards the scene outside, nothing more than a large stretch of path. Well, save for the figure outside shuffling along in the sweltering heat, approaching the door the best they could with one of their legs seemingly dragging along behind the other.   
_   
_ _ “Oh goddamnit.” _ One look and the ex-remnant knew that this would be more trouble than it’s worth. “Why did you drag him here?” He asks, tone a tad more hushed so nobody would intrude in on the conversation.   
  
_ “Are you kidding me?” _ Fuyuhiko’s voice becomes just as hushed, although still brimming with agitation.  _ “He practically lives here, I don’t want patient zero over there to bother me!” _   
  
“Well, Makoto’s here. A-And he can’t be disturbed. At all.” He makes a short emphasis by gesturing vaguely to the window. He knew that if he found out that The Ultimate Hope had taken temporary residence in the hospital, he’d have a field day. Which, to Makoto, wouldn’t be a big deal, but considering just how sickly the other boy was, it was an instant health risk. “How’d you even find him anyway? Wait, h-how’d you get him to follow you?”   
  
“One,” The gang leader starts, extending his index finger. “The scent of vomit on a hot day is fucking awful, and two,” His middle finger comes out soon after. “I have no idea. I just told him to follow and he did. So like hell I’m gonna complain.”   
  
“Can’t you just...take him somewhere else? Like,  _ literally _ anywhere else?” They could go to the venue, or the cinema! Neither were that far and the cinema was well air conditioned, so that solves the heat problem. He...really didn’t want to have Makoto deal with such an intense interaction, and Hajime didn’t want to deal with  _ him _ in general.   
  
“I’m not stumbling around in the heat dressed in  _ all black _ just because someone who qualifies as a quarantine patient at this point wants to shove his head up Makoto’s-”   
  
_ “Okay!” _ Hajime interjects, not wanting this argument to turn into a full fledged rant. “Okay, fine. Just...take him back upstairs, and make sure he doesn’t see Makoto.”   
  
“Why do you even care so much?” Fuyuhiko’s hands slip into his pockets, leaning slightly with an inquisitive look. “Like, honestly why? It’s not gonna be the end of the world. In fact, we  _ caused _ the end of the world, so I’d say there’s worse things than Makoto meeting his ‘Ultimate Fan’.”   
  
“I just mean not now. If he-” He pauses, his hand reaching up to rub the back of his neck with a defeated sigh. “If Komaeda wants to talk to Makoto and doesn’t make it creepy, then fine. But Makoto’s injured, and I don’t think he wants to be bombarded right now.”   
  
“Oh jeez, what the hell happened to him?” A small smile perks on Hajime’s face when the gang leader’s voice goes from angered to one of a bit more concern. At least they’d come to a compromise and the subject was dropped.

  


“I think he hit his head on-”

  


Both boys turn upon the door opening, a squirrely looking figure shuffling into the lobby. He’s hunched over, tiredness choking him in a tight locked grip because no sooner when he enters does he lean against the desk, dark rings formed around sunken, hazy eyes. A large stain cakes a nightgown, and from what his friend had told him, he had a pretty good indicator of what it was, that and the fact that the stain trail started from the top center of the fabric and splattered down.   
  
_ “You probably could’ve changed his clothes you know,” _ Hinata whispers.   
  
_ “Like fuck I’m touching Komaeda,” _ He objects, his classmates not exactly having a high view of him. 

  


It wasn’t as if he were horribly mistreated by his peers nowadays, however the more sane students harbored a sort of wariness towards him due to his violent, homicidal outbursts from their time in the Neo World Program. Sure, the likeliness of it happening again was marginally slim, but that didn’t mean they had their guard up, including Hajime. The arson and consistent need to put their lives in danger because he viewed himself as some sort of prophet was one thing, but once the deranged boy had found out Hajime was nothing more than a Reserve Course student, his lowly, pitiful act had dropped, the curtain falling to reveal the truest nature of one’s evil. Hajime was consistently berated and even  _ verbally assaulted _ by Komaeda throughout, so to say Hinata carries some... _ negativity _ towards him was putting it lightly.

  


It was a miracle the white haired boy had remained silent, simply giving a wave. Hajime gives an awkward smile in return, exchanging a small wave to him despite the hollow, burning sensation in his chest just by looking at him.

  
“Okay Komaeda, let’s head upstairs,” Fuyhiko turns around, the conversation finished for now. Surprisingly, he complies, following the gang leader up the set of narrow wooden stairs. However, moments before disappearing, he catches Hinata’s stare, that same passive smile on his face. It took every ounce of willpower to not shudder until he was sure Komaeda had gone upstairs, the room seeming to drop in temperature.   
  
He shakes his head, trying to remove any of the jitters he had just received from such a  _ ‘fine’  _ person. It’s best to just dust it off, and move on. He needed to focus on the bigger problem, after all. Speaking of, once he’s free of his pseudo-job of having to play pack leader, he traverses back down the hall and into the room he had seen Mikan enter, quickly met with a large room with low light. He’s greeted with a cabinet full of medicine and bottles balancing precariously on each shelf, and to his right, a counter with a sink installed, surgical tools laying in a messy heap of metal in the corner.    
  
Guilt pangs into him briefly, realizing that the nurse really could use more help. It’s not often the ex-remnants got sick, however he can’t imagine tackling more than two patients would be a breeze. In the back wall of the room rests rows of hospital beds, all divided by curtains. He takes slow steps forward, a bit creeped out by the lack of lighting in the room. He could suggest drawing open the blinds shielding the light from filtering in, but maybe Mikan had a good reason! His best guess was that her patients could be sensitive to light when in a weakened state, unable to deal with something they’ve normally been accustomed to for years.   
  
“Hinata-kun?” The dark haired girl perks up, her focus going from a now stirring Makoto to the boy in question. He tenses, gaze darting from left to right before he strolls over to them, a small smile on his face at the sight of Makoto waking up.   
  
“Ah, hey Mikan? Komaeda got out again? I dunno what happened, but Fuyuhiko’s got him back upstairs.”   
  
The girl’s face ranges from shock, to worry, to relief all in a matter of seconds. And given the girl’s anxious demeanor, he wasn’t surprised. What also wasn’t surprising, was Kyoko’s non reaction save for an eyebrow raise. But that he could push aside since she was obviously more worried about her husband than a student she hardly knows. Not that she, or Makoto didn’t care for them, but due to the circumstances all her worry was put into the Ultimate Hope’s injury.   
  
“Th-Thank you for telling me,” Mikan nods to Hajime in thanks, who simply nods back as a response. “I’ll make sure to check up on him when I’m done with Naegi!” She pauses before letting out a sigh, her head lowering in disappointment. “I really n-need to remember to cl-close the second story windows!”   
  
Hinata parts his mouth to question how the _ hell _ a sickly boy managed to crawl out of a second story window, and survive, but at this point it’s best not to question Komaeda’s ‘luck.’ In fact it’s best not to think about it at all, his attention turning back to a Naegi who’s slowly starting to sit up, the nurse keeping a hand on his back and chest while the lavender haired girl’s eyes become wide.

  
Soft hazel eyes are greeted by a darkened room, blinking a few times to adjust to his surroundings.  _ Where was he? _ He winces upon an immediate pain blooming in his forehead, raising a hand to touch it. His fingers collide with gauze, his mouth parting ever so slightly in surprise.    
  
_ “Huh?” _ He murmurs quietly, head whipping towards Kyoko, then to the nurse on the opposite side of him. He quickly pieces the hospital scenery together, a disdained Hajime leaning against the stained wall. “Did...something happen?” An awkward, dry chuckle escapes him, scratching his cheek nervously as he attempts to gain some sort of information. The last thing he remembered was…   
  
_ Oh God. _ _   
_   
His heart plummets to a pit in his stomach, any color from his face draining. Those monokumas...where had they come from? And what did they do to him? Weren’t the others concerned? Hadn’t they seen them too? Then again, the bears could’ve fled by the time the pair got back to Makoto, not to mention his health would be put above the potential threat. As much as Naegi would call that into question, there was no point in trying to reason now that it was already done.   
  
When he doesn’t get an answer, merely Kyoko and Mikan exchanging a look, he pipes up. “I’m uh, guessing I slipped and hit my head? Or something made me smack my head against like….a rock or something?” There were blanks in his memory, going from a swarm of monokumas to pure blackness. So only now has he just started to recall whatever fuzzy memories may be lingering within him.   
  
“Uhm, a-actually…” Mikan twiddles her fingers out of what looks to be a nervous habit, a blush forming on her face as she averts her gaze from the boy. Upon this, Kyoko tilts her chin up, observing the girl with a far more watchful eye.   
  
As suspected, her assumption is confirmed.   
  
“Naegi, y-you’re injury appears to be, well….self inflicted?” She tries to soften the blow with a rather forced grin, the fake cheeriness dropping not a second later. “I looked at the angle of the gash in your head, and sometimes when someone sustains an injury, it’s not possible for an amount of force or certain angle to be applied unless it was self inflicted.”   
  
Naegi is left speechless, staring at the girl blankly. A slow, gentle gasp comes out of his mouth, not exactly sure what to say or do here. “What?” Self inflicted?” How could he have done that? He doesn’t remember doing it, and why would he do it in the first place? It’s not like he’d have a reason to hurt himself, or want to-

  


An idea strikes him hard, making that pit in his stomach widen, his entire body feeling hollow like it had been stuffed with nothing more than straw and twigs, that he’d fall apart at any given moment. It’s only when he’s visibly shaken does Kyoko rest a hand on his knee, perturbed eyes locking with his. “Naegi-kun, are you okay?”   
  
He can sense the double-meaning already. That she wanted to know if he was both physically and  _ mentally _ sound as well. He wants to protest, to insist that he was fine in order to not ruin this vacation but...it may be a bit too late for that. And if that’s the case, then he may as well fess up. It wasn’t like Kyoko was going to accept his lie anyhow. He could already tell she’s been speculating on what’s truly going on with him, and that it’s something far worse than simple anxiety about being away from the academy.   
  
“I don’t know…” Is his true response, genuinely unsure. Something was going on, but how serious was it? He was doing fine for the most part, so what happened then? “K-Kyoko…” His voice shakes, lip quivering as he has to tell the girl what to do next. His chest feels like it’s being constricted, crushing down on him like some sort of predator’s jaws lurking within the tropical fauna of this very island.   
  
“I think I need my medicine.”   
  


It clicks for Kyoko in a near instant, the couple met with slightly confused stares.   
  
“Y’know if Naegi has medication on hand for this kinda stuff, it would’ve been pretty useful to know.” Hajime’s snippy comment earns himself a stern glare from the ex-detective, though it doesn’t last long before her attention is set back on Naegi.    
  
If she understood what he was implying, he’s under the theory that he’s having despair breakdowns. That’s...the last thing she wanted if she were being truthful. She was anticipating both her and Makoto to relax, to get away from all that and have no stress whatsoever, free of any sort of painful, traumatic reminders. Although that was a bit hard in hindsight, going to a near exact copy of an island that was used for a simulation that housed a group of former terrorists who helped to plunge the world into despair that Naegi set free and got arrested for, probably would cause some... _ issues _ to arise.

  


That being said though, she couldn’t stand the idea of him getting worse. And as far as she knew, he already had a despair episode, one that made him bash his head against the Jabberwock statue until he passed out, most likely a suicide attempt. She closes her eyes, silently forcing down the beginnings of a choked cry upon the thought of her beloved trying to end his life yet another time, and her not being there to prevent it.   
  
“We were just discussing that Naegi,” The boy gives her a confused stare before she explains on. “That once you woke up, I’d take you back to the cottage. You need to rest, and if…” Her gaze darts over to Hajime, then back to Makoto, brushing part of her hair away from her face. There was an uncomfortable air beginning to build, one she didn’t want to stick around long for. To dissolve it, she gently takes Naegi’s hand, the Ultimate Hope’s hazel eyes locked onto hers, brimming with worry. “If you uhm...think you need to take your medicine, then it’s best for you to rest so you don’t overwhelm yourself.”   
  
“Ah yeah Kyoko, I-I understand.” Agitation prickles under his skin, but why? Kyoko was only looking out for him, why was he feeling a sudden surge of negativity? He slips off the bed, a weak groan escaping him as unused joints begin to move again. “I don’t need to be confined to one place y-y’know,” he mutters, strolling past her while trying to work out a knot in his lower back, knuckles massaging circles into the skin. “It’s a vacation, not an imprisonment.”   
  
That gets the attention of all three of them, noticing how his tone had darkened. Sure, Naegi would make an off-handed joke or comment, but this sounded...malicious. 

  


“I didn’t mean it like that Naegi.” Although she’s backtracking, Kirigiri’s challenging tone affirms that she’s trying to set the record straight. She didn’t want to induce further stress and anger upon Naegi, which is why she’s choosing her words carefully, but she refused to cower and back down, lest his despair worsens and their relationship turns into something parasitic. It was a rather outlandish fear, but she wasn’t going to backpedal over a suggestion.

  


More incoherent mumbling, and Kyoko is taking several steps closer to him, now a bit upset by his shift in behavior.  _ “What?” _ If he had something to say, he should say it, especially if it was directed at her.   
  
_ “Nothing,” _ The huffy tone says otherwise, but Kirigiri decides to drop it. She wasn’t going to let an argument break out just because she had been irked by something that was out of Naegi’s control.   
  
She sighs, resigning herself to put a stop to any potential arguing. “Alright, but it’s best that we head back. Just rest for a little while Makoto, and if you’re feeling better, we can do anything you’d like. You said you wanted to go snorkeling? O-Or pet some of the corral animals?”   
  
“And what if I get worse?” The lavender haired girl senses the challenge immediately. He was asking for her to materialize some sort of failsafe in case Naegi’s hope deteriorated. But there was a reason she didn’t have one, and to that, she smiles, anger fading and eventually dissipating.   
  
“Because I know you’ll get better. You’re the Ultimate Hope, and this...whatever this is, we can work it out.” She makes a slow attempt to interlock his hand with hers, to which Naegi barely reacts. A bit unfortunate for her, but she still keeps her resolve up. “I remember how you wouldn’t stop raving about how excited you were for us to have so much fun together, and if you still want that, that’s fine. But…if you believe you’ll get worse then, I’m not going to force you to suddenly get better and risk you breaking down.” If they had to leave early, then so be it. They had a lifetime of vacations to plan, and missing one was far better than Naegi being put in danger.

  


“Let’s head back to the cottage,” Naegi’s already reaching for the door, his hand leaving Kirigiri’s. He pauses when he turns the knob before quietly adding “Since you know everything apparently…”   
  
Hajime and Tsumiki are doused in silence once Kyoko and Makoto take their leave, the two catching each other’s eyes for a brief moment before his stare flicks back down. “So uh…” He clicks his tongue, arms folded as he tries to think of something to say. “What do you think that was all about?”   
  
“Oh? I-I uhm….I d-dunno…” The nurse begins the tedious process of putting away her equipment, grabbing each tool and delicately placing it back into the correct labeled spot. There’s the sound of drawers opening and closing as she walks from the bed to the counter, Hinata simply watching the process.   
  
“Hey Mikan,” Upon hearing her name she pauses, staring at the boy like a deer in the headlights. He supposes he has a sort of... _ intimidating _ stature compared to someone so dainty and frail, their contrast between one another being that of a bull in a china shop. He relaxes his posture a bit, not wanting to have the girl think she was in any trouble. “You could...really use some help around here. I didn’t think it was just you.” He pauses, shaking his head at his mistake. “I-I mean, I  _ knew  _ you didn’t have any other staff on board but I guess I just...never thought about what that meant.”

  


“What do you mean?”   
  
“I dunno,” Hajime shrugs, his gaze briefly moving away before focusing back on the girl. Arms still folded he steps forward, noticing the girl just several feet from him stiffen, most likely an automatic response. If someone with Hajime’s sort of build came strutting over to someone around Mikan’s size, then needless to say he’d be a bit intimidated too, regardless of connection with one another. “I guess, if you need someone else to help around I could volunteer.”   
  
It wasn’t like he had anything else to do, honestly. He could definitely squeeze in time to be an assistant at the hospital, since it looks as though nobody’s surprisingly volunteered yet. That, and given his despaired alter persona Izuru Kamukura, he was given a multitude of talents, and while he’s resigned to being Hajime Hinata, a part of Izuru is still within him, and perhaps any knowledge he may have could be put to a good use instead of causing chaos out of pure boredom.   
  
“R-Really?” Honest shock registers across her face, her bandaged limbs trembling at such a proposal. “A-Ah, but I couldn’t make you do that! I don’t have the other classmates come in here often! Besides Komaeda…” Hajime visibly winces at that, knowing that the lucky student can be quite a handful, and today’s event with Fuyuhiko proved that as well.   
  
There’s a pause, Mikan’s eyes widening to the size of saucers, cupping her hands to her cheeks. “Oh my g-gosh I’m supposed to check up on him and keep the window locked!” Before Hajime can stutter out a response Tsumiki is shoving tools and various bottles into her bag that look about twice as heavy as her before taking off, nearly tumbling head first down the hall.

  
Hajime just stares in the doorway before the nurse turns down the lobby and marches upstairs, surprised how swift of a turnaround that was. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad volunteering here, but...Komaeda would be a huge,  _ huge _ roadblock. The thought of having to deal with someone he has... _ mixed _ emotions for would be a bit of a problem in the workplace if the Ultimate Nurse was actually interested. But at least now he had time to reflect on something else: Makoto.   
  
What the hell even happened? Was Naegi just stressed, or had something happened back on the mainland that they were trying to keep personal? Either way, this talk about Naegi hurting himself and getting worse didn’t bode well. It was none of his business, but...he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was stirring. Watching from the sidelines wouldn’t be a  _ huge _ invasion of privacy, right? He wasn’t going to just stroll right up to them demanding answers, and he certainly wasn’t going to stalk them along the island. But maybe checking up on them every few or so hours could work! He’s just...worried is all. And he was technically their host! He should make sure his guests are having the utmost, quality experience! Yeah, Jabberwock Island wasn’t some kind of vacation hotspot, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t have to be hospitable! 

  
  
  


The walk back to Hotel Mirai is silent, the pair simply walking along, Kyoko giving small greetings to anyone who passed them. When they’d ask what happened to Naegi, the boy would simply continue to stroll on like there wasn’t a soul there. She could barely get in a brief explanation before having to catch up with him, giving him a strict glance. But he barely paid her any mind, walking silently with his hands tucked behind his back. His attitude was putting a damper on things, but Kyoko wasn’t going to blame him. His despair was affecting him! Her best shot was for him to take his medicine, and his behavior would shift once it started working. He’s supposed to take them on the daily, but it’s been about a day and a half since he’s had his last dose.   
  
As they approach the building, pool and structure coming into view, Kirigiri finds herself walking ahead, ready to put an end to a growing infestation before it even started.   
  
She comes to a stop when something takes her hand from behind.   
  
“Kirigiri….”   
  
His voice is low, grip tightening ever so slightly. Hesitant, she turns around, only to be met with Makoto keeping his head lowered, his expression unreadable. There’s a long moment of pure, agonizing silence, nothing but the gentle blow of the breeze and the distant shore nearby. She catches a slight twitch of the lips before they curve into a frown. Then, teeth meet his bottom lip that’s now quivering uncontrollably, and eventually, his expression is set into a grimace, retracting his hand from her and clutching himself protectively.   
  
“Naeg-” Before she can console him on the sudden tear streaks littering his face he throws himself into her arms, Kyoko now able to feel the violent tremors running down him as his body hitches with each pitiful sob.   
  
_ “I’m so sorry,” _ He buries his head against her shoulder, taking in her soothing lavender scent. He was slightly embarrassed to become such a mess in front of the girl, but to say Naegi is an emotional being was an understatement. When he manages to push back a choked sniffle he steadies himself, pulling back to meet her surprised gaze. “I-I dunno why I snapped back at the hospital I was just- I felt like you didn’t believe in me to do things on my own, a-and be independent. I know it sounds crazy because time and time again y-you’ve shown that you do trust me with that but...all the talk about being monitored...being cooped up in the cottage....it got under my skin. I-I don’t know if it’s...my d-despair acting up again or what, but the last thing I wanna do is ruin a good vacation.”   
  
“Naegi I…” She isn’t sure where to start honestly, processing one thing after the next as Naegi dumps all this sudden pent up emotion.    
  
“You don’t have to answer!” He interjects quickly, already realizing his mistake. Why was he pouring all his problems onto Kirigiri when they were  _ his _ to solve? She shouldn’t have to play therapist just for him! “I-If you don’t know what to say, th-then I understand. But trust me, once we get to the cottage, I’ll take my medicine, and I hope  _ so badly _ that I get better, because I can’t stand to see you so upset over me like this.”   
  
“Makoto-”   
  
His first name catches his attention, gaze snapping up to meet Kirigiri’s. “First of all, us worrying about each other- well sorry to say but, that’s going to happen a lot more often than you think.” She tilts her head, deciding to hand him a smile for some kind of comfort. “And second, a vacation doesn’t mean anything to me if you aren’t feeling well. I want you to be happy too, Naegi-kun.”   
  
“But I want  _ you _ to be happy!”   
  
“I already am though,” Kyoko objects, maintaining her calm demeanor. “Naegi we’ve both come such a long way and, it’s been an experience, trial and error, pushing ourselves back up again and never giving up...that’s what makes you, you. And that’s one of the things I adore about you. I’m not...the best at emoting, obviously, but I try every moment to help myself, you, and our friends in the best way I can. I...I know I’m going to mess up, and...I already have…” Her lavender eyes seem to cloud over with a troubled memory back during the first killing game. “But we’re still here, and we’ve gone so far, so Naegi, if you feel like something’s bothering you, you have every right to rest, o-or even call off the vacation. It isn’t a big deal.”   
  
“B-But you work all the time and I-”   
  
“You work all the time too.”   
  
“But I-” He pauses, chewing at his lip to think of some sort of objection to her statement, only to find none. He closes his eyes, sighing. This was one debate he wasn’t going to win. “As long as I know you’re fine with it, a-and that my medicine will make you not worry as much anymore, th-then we can...d-do whatever would be best if I don’t recover…” It was unlikely that would happen, but just as a worst case scenario he’s already envisioning himself trying to talk to the boat driver to bring them back early. He’d hate to cut the vacation short, but if keeping it ongoing risked his sanity splitting, then Kirigiri, nor would any of his friends on the island, tolerate it.

  


“Kyoko?”   
  
“Hm?”   
  
“C-Could you...help me? I know this is something I need to tackle on my own but, i-if you’re still willing to support me-”   
  
“Of course I am Naegi,” Kyoko places her gloved hands on his shoulders, leaning forward to give him a short kiss. It wasn’t often she displayed affection, especially in public areas, but she bent the rules every once in awhile for Naegi. He was possibly one of the most affectionate people she’d ever met, she can’t just deny him a craving to be held and loved like that! “We can help each other but at the end of the day it’s our own selves who need to break through and solve it.”    
  
“How come you always know what to say?”   
  
“I don’t. Not every time at least.” The pair chuckle at that, the mood lifting with ease before they continue their walk to the hotel. “I’m glad you’ve been enjoying yourself, a-at least up until your accident I mean.” She still felt a bit of guilt over that, fully aware that she could’ve done something to prevent it had she not gone off with Hajime. Oh well, she guesses that she and Makoto could catch Ibuki’s next showing if she had another one scheduled this week!   
  
“If we end up staying we could have dinner upstairs,” The Ultimate Hope suggests, holding the door open for Kyoko as they step into the lobby. “I think they’re serving shellfish tonight?” He knows she enjoys it on special occasions, and he supposes this could be considered one. He trails behind her, leaning forward with a half smirk on his face. “Just imagine it Kiri-san, you and me, under the stars, the ocean crashing below us as we swordfight with lobster claws.”   
  
That manages to earn a laugh from Kyoko, the girl covering the tips of her fingers over her mouth. “Naegi-kun!” She whines in a teasing tone, inching closer to him. “Well I think-” She pauses, opening the door before him that leads out into the docks that house the cottages on each side. “That you have a crustacean obsession.”   
  
“Wha? Me?” Naegi turns around as he steps through, mouth agape with a hand on his chest.    
  
“Crabs, ghost crabs, and now lobsters. Makoto Naegi if I didn’t know any better I’d say you’re the Ultimate Shellfish Enthusiast.” 

  


Naegi holds back another chortle, clutching his stomach while tears of joy brim in the corner of his eyes. Ah, he was so relieved that what first appeared to be an oncoming despair breakdown had been lightened with a solid make-up and humor. He finally concedes, a sudden thought occurring to him as he stares out into the ocean. “Aw…”   
  
“What is it?” Kyoko raises a brow, peering out into the same spot of blue that Makoto had his eyes on.   
  
“It’d be messed up to eat lobster right below the ocean! What if the lobster has like...a family. And we eat it right in front of them?” He just couldn’t stand to hear something so tragic.   
  
“Nobody’s stopping you from freeing them.”   
  
“Wh- Kyoko! C’mon, I wouldn’t do that! I’m..s-sure the lobsters want to be eaten….right?” That makes sense, right? Whatever stops him from thinking about it would work best. And Kyoko’s statement had a flaw, she would most definitely stop him. Or simply watch on in morbid curiosity.   
  
  


  
  
“Did you check your bag again?”   
  
“Mhm...it’s still not...th-there…”   
  
“H-How? I don’t….Naegi, what do you mean you can’t find it?”

  
  
Things had been going so smoothly, the duo practically laughing their way into the cabin. Once they had settled, Kyoko suggested that he take his medicine. Not wanting to put it off, he obliged, scouring through the bathroom only to find...nothing. Sure, he had unpacked every necessity for someone vacationing for a week, but there was no sign of his medication. One of them, was anxiety relief pills, something that comes in handy for his ptsd or when he has to work. The other, was a special pill designed for him by Future Foundation. It took a bit of effort but it did help sate his mind from the suicide video’s despairful brainwashing effects. It wasn’t permanent, and if he didn’t take it for more than two days, the likelihood of him breaking down would steadily increase, especially if he didn’t have his anxiety medication as a pseudo-substitute either. 

  


“I-I dunno Kyoko it’s just gone!” He says with a loud slam of the bathroom sink cabinet, looking at the girl standing in the doorway with a dismayful expression. “I was sure I packed it I-I mean there’s no way I could’ve...f-forgotten it…”   
  
_ Did he though? _   
  
If he did, he’d consider himself an imbecile for the rest of the week! How could he have forgotten something that he needed to mentally function with? Something that, if he didn’t take after a certain time period, could send him into mindless, suicidal despair. Too many times has he thought of Junko Enoshima laughing from beyond the grave, laughing at the fact that his perfect record had a botched stain on it he couldn’t remove, only making it worse with each new breakdown he had.

  


“What if you...didn’t forget it?”   
  
“Kyoko I’ve looked everywhere I can’t-”   
  
“I know,” The ex-detective starts, leaning against the doorframe. Naegi can sense her hesitance to speak on the matter, judging by how she’s averting her gaze and speaking slower than normal. “But...there’s the very off chance that you- nevermind.” She shakes her head, stepping back while holding up her hands. That was a confrontation she did not want to start.   
  
“N-No hold on, what is it?” If Kyoko knew how Naegi’s medicine had vanished into thin air, that he hadn’t forgotten it, then he would pay to hear it. Even if she was wrong, any explanation would be a salvation at this point.   
  
“I have the hunch that you...may have left it at home...intentionally.”   
  
There it was.  _ Intentionally. _   
  
“Kyoko,” He starts, voice bordering on a chuckle at how ridiculous it sounded. “Why would I l-leave it behind on purpose? I-I mean, I need that! L-Look at me I’m already...falling apart...oh shit-” He clutches the sides of his head, leaning against the sink as he tries to push out any negative thoughts, his friends' taunting voices becoming more clear with each passing minute.   
  
“Naegi-'' Kirigiri rushes in, her hands gently guiding themselves to his wrists. “I’m not...implying you had any bad intentions, I’m saying that, maybe you thought you wouldn’t need it since this was supposed to be a relaxing vacation where you wouldn’t have to worry.” A lot of people often make that mistake, believing they don’t need medication for when going on vacation, thinking that the entire experience will just be a paradise of positivity. But that’s merely a fantasy, one that could cause irreversible damage if something were to go wrong.

  


“Yeah, okay, I-” He’s stumbling over himself, his words, his  _ own mind _ as he tries to justify himself, to convince his own being that this mishap wasn’t intentional, like some dark part of himself had called out and in a moment of weakness, he gave in. Even the most subtle of things could be the influence of the aftereffects of his brainwashing. He only feels true relief when he’s purely happy, which isn’t too hard to come by, but…   
  
_ Sometimes he gets the same effect by feeling the exact opposite. _   
  
“Do you want to lay down?” She suggests, guiding him out of the bathroom. The next thing he knows he’s in the bedroom, the background seeming to have blurred away as he focused on her concerned eyes. And how one of them, one side of her face, was horribly scarred all because he wouldn’t simply die in her stead.   
  
“Mhm.” He nods slowly, creeping along to the mattress. It doesn’t take too long before Kyoko notices the thousand yard stare looking out into nothingness. “Naegi-kun?” It was soft, a small attempt to bring him back into reality. He didn’t drift like that often, but leaving with such horrid trauma would cause such behaviors, the mind working fine in one moment, then blanking in the next.   
  
“Hm?” He blinks, and he’s already tucked himself in. Did he...do that? He must’ve done that, right? He doesn’t recall doing it, but in some cases doing one thing on repeat for such a long amount of time would leave it to become second nature, something that’s basically overlooked.    
  
But was it?   
  
“G’night Kyoko,” Makoto hears a “Goodnight” in return, nestling against his pillow. Kirigiri’s voice being the last thing he hears before he drifts off could be of wonderful help, that mixed in with the lavender scent would surely give him pleasant dreams. He wouldn’t let his despair breakdowns to ruin another good moment again! He’d triumph over it just as he had done in the face of regular despair, no suicide video would drag him down into the clutches of darkness! And if his own dreams held the key to a somewhat better mental state, then so be it.

  


Naegi is well on his way to the lulling slumber he desires when he answers a different call, one that provides quite the opposite of rest, sitting up and stiffening the moment he hears it.   
  
_ “Naegi….” _   
  
He swears it’s just the crashing waves outside, or the creaking of the cottage. And this was a tropical island after all, any sort of animal could have made a noise that sounded vaguely like his name. He just barely catches it, muffled but close by. It was as if the sound were just below the waves, not bothering to make itself more prominent.   
  
When his name fills his ears again, a bit more clear this time, he looks around the darkened bedroom. His first instinct is to glance to his left, only to see his beloved sleeping peacefully. He watches her silently for about a minute, her chest rising and falling with her eyes closed. It makes his heart skip a beat, her peaceful position reminding him of the time he thought he’d lost her, and the sight of her partially stained face from the poison wasn’t doing him any favors.   
  
He’s told her a million times. That it was fine, that he would not be put off by her scar and that he saw her as beautiful regardless of what anyone else said. She had objected, stating that she can see the off-handed glances, the nervous look in his eye, the guilt written on his face. Time and time again he’d tell her it wasn’t a big deal, but she’d counter that by telling him it was in no way his fault. But looking at her now, eyes closed and body limp, he can’t help but feel a growing horror. He lifts a hand, just about ready to nudge her awake just to make sure when   
  
“Naegi!”   
  
He whirls around, shaky hazel pinpricks cast towards the window. Moonlight filters in, curtains billowing in the soft breeze while an ocean mist sprays with each smashing wave, kicking up the scent of saltwater. He glances over to Kyoko, then to the window, suspicion beginning to rouse within him. Okay, so it wasn’t an animal or the ocean, someone or  _ something _ was deliberately calling to him, and it’s high time he investigates.   
  
Besides, he wouldn’t want anything to bring Kyoko harm again…   
  
He slips out of bed, trying to recall the tone in that voice. It was feminine, from what he could tell at least, and there was a word his tired mind couldn’t quite pin down yet as he shuffles towards the cottage door. Taking one final glance over his shoulder he sighs, turning the knob. 

  


Now, it could very well be one of the ex-remnants wishing to speak with the Ultimate Hope, but in the middle of the night? That was illogical, and for a moment he briefly ponders someone who may have washed up on the island, but how would they even know him?    
  
Were it not for his groggy state, logic would have told him the real reason.   
  
Logic, would have told him that his weak mind could very well have something to do with it, logic, would have told him to stay inside and simply ignore it, to nestle up with his wife and forget about it, and logic, would have told him that this was spiking so many red flags that he would be a fool to follow the siren call.   
  
That was it.   
  
The tone of voice. It had finally struck him upside the head.   
  
_ Sweet. _   
  
Feminine, kind, and generally  _ sweet _ all around. Where had he heard it before though? It was like a relic long past, his weary head trying to sift through faces of new and old.    
  
“Naegi!”   
  
“Yeah?” He calls out this time, making his presence known to the being messing with him. His heart races at that realization, possibly dooming himself right then and there. But the one driving force keeping his feet from staying rooted on the dock, was the idea that Kyoko would be hurt. She wasn’t defenseless, obviously, but the images slowly dripping into his mind were sending him into a near panic. He leans forward, half expecting to fall when his legs automatically stumble in front of him. He feels as though he’s acting on autopilot, reaching around to the back of the cottage where he’s greeted with the dock’s railing.   
  
He recalls how he almost fell over the side earlier trying to….catch a crab? No, it...it was a monokuma! A crab monokuma? He grimaces, clutching one side of his head as he tries to remember something that happened two days ago. Why was it so damn hard? Yeah, he was tired but the conversation with Kirigiri is incredibly clear, so why can’t he remember a single thing beforehand?   
  
He knew she had scolded him for almost falling right off the railing but what was he chasing? He doesn’t notice the wetness building up in his eyes before something hot stings his cheek against the cool air. It was a single tear, rolling down his skin. “H-Huh?” He raises his fingers, gently dabbing into the wetness before running it through his fingertips.   
  
“Why am I….”   
  
“Naegi, over here!”   
  
It was followed by a giggle this time, the boy putting aside his sudden crying to grip the railing’s edge, gaze scanning the lapping waves for any sign of a human being. Normally, any sane person wouldn’t think to look out into the water first, but Naegi was just barely functioning, hardly able to even keep himself awake.   
  
Then it comes to him.  _ Is this a dream? _ It may very well be. The leaps in logic, the disembodied voices, it...it couldn’t be anything else, right? Just to check, Naegi rolls up one of his sleeves, turning his arm over to expose his wrist. His jaw nearly drops at the sight, the single indicator confirming that he was still in the waking world.   
  
“No…. _ No!” _ Naegi’s voice turns into a desperate cry, more tears building up before trickling down. How was this not a dream? If it were, then his arm would be smooth and bare of any scars he’s given himself during his despair episodes. He mumbles something about how it’s not real, shakily starting to pick at a line just below his wrist that was trying to heal, already having scabbed over. He winces at the sharp pain that shoots through him when he rips at the partially healed scrap of flesh, fresh blood oozing from the wound.   
  
And the sight of it, makes something in him snap.   
  
_ “Stop it stop it stop it!” _ He isn’t sure if it’s directed to himself or whatever forces are messing with him, whatever hellspawn decided to destroy all the good in his life. Even if he came out on top in the end, why did he always have to bear this burden? To never speak of it again? He didn’t need therapy, or any kind of substance abuse to keep him from jumping off a fucking bridge and ending it all, he needed-   
  
As his thoughts spiral, the scratching on his wrist becomes far more aggressive, starting as a light, irritating itch to pulling open old wounds and creating new ones, vision blurred by the tears coating his eyes. He sniffles, watching the liquid roll down his cheeks and splatter onto his even warmer blood, hot pink spiraling in with clear. It marbles into one another before rolling off his arm, nails now digging into the scarred forearm with bits of his skin clinging to the underside of his nails.   
  
He stiffens, letting out the slightest chuckle, an elated grin spreading over his face as he begins to rake his nails down the entire length of his bloodied arm, making sure to go as slow as possible.  _ It’ll make the pain last longer that way, after all. _   
  
“Makoto!”   
  
The sound makes him pause, what was once a warm hazel-green now turned to red spirals looking out onto the ocean. His heart is overjoyed at the sight of a figure just barely beneath the water, navy blue hair wavering in the water below while a pale face looks back up to him with the same cheery smile all that time ago, a smile of trust he had broken, of a promise he had stomped all over.   
  
“S-Sayaka?” He mouths the name, shocked yet overwhelmed to see one of his dear friends again.   
  
When he gets no response, he presses one foot against the bottom railing, taking in a sharp gasp before screaming. He couldn’t let her die! Not again, never again! He couldn’t care less if he succumbs to a cold, watery tomb, just as long as he knows Maizono is safe. In fact, he’d be anticipating it! If he died instead of her, then….then everything would work out! She’d get to live on, and he wouldn’t be so goddamn useless all the time! He was a lost cause, a false beacon of hope, because no matter how many times he beats despair, something has to knock him back down tenfold.   
  
The loud splash is covered up by the waves, luckily for him. But he couldn’t focus on that! Nor would he focus on the pure pleasure that strikes him when he feels the sting of saltwater mixing into his bloodied arm. It would’ve been perfect, but Sayaka needs rescuing first. He looks around, hardly caring about the stinging in his eyes from opening them in the water. He follows after the figure, confused as to why she was swimming away from him. Didn’t she want to be saved? She would want him to avenge her death with his own, right?   
  
Despite the irritation of salt, the water seems to numb him. It starts in his damaged arm, prickles of coldness starting in his fingers until it slowly spreads. It’s a dull ache at first, before any feeling is whisked away. He’s...pleased by it, hoping this is what death truly felt like.  _ Cold and numb. _ Still, he pushes onward, even if he can’t see or feel anything, his freezing body sinking further and further into the darkness.   
  
He’s about to call out her name when he seems to be in a tangle of pure darkness and seaweed, his bleary gaze turning every which way. He jolts when he turns around once more, the girl in front of him. Her head is tilted, eyes closed with that beautifully polite smile on her face. Ah, he’s finally found her! She can be saved now! He reaches out a hand, only for a pair of light blue eyes to open, shaking her head.   
  
He blinks, stunned that she doesn’t want his assistance. “But-”   
  
“Naegi it’s okay, you’ve done enough. I’ll find my way out, but you? You can stay here as long as you’d like!” The deceptively cheerful tone seems to numb any remaining panic in his mind, nodding lazily. He stares out at….well, nothing, besides Maizono and the tangle of kelp he’s entwined in. “That’s right, lower and lower...gosh Naegi you’ll be dead in no time!”   
  
_ “Yeah,” _ He coughs slightly, unable to tell if there were tears in his eyes as he begins intaking lungfuls of water, his body barely reacting because of the lack of feeling. It’s wonderful actually, his face only making small twitches on occasion as his ability to breathe dwindles.   
  
“You know why you’re doing this, don’t you?”   
  
He hadn’t expected it, but he’s most certainly unable to process it. So, he doesn’t answer, glowing red gaze faced in an upward direction from what he could tell as the back of his head hits the sand.

  


“Well it seems to be working like a charm! Keep it up Naegi, and maybe someday, everything will be back to normal! But...you seem more content with dying right now, don’t you?”   
  
The hallucination is given a short, simple nod, and before he’s succumbed by blackness, he sees his friend turn away from him, giving him a small goodbye wave before swimming off, disappearing into the fields of kelp.

  


He takes one final, deep gasp, only filling his lungs more when something sharp stings into his hand. It’s the one and only thing he feels besides the burning of his flooded lungs, just barely able to turn his head and see what had caused such pain. He expects glass, or sharks that were attracted by his blood, but the last feeling that registers in his mind is mild surprise when he notices something black, circular, and covered in needle like spines embedded into his palm.   
  
Ah, poisoned too. Just like Kyoko, maybe she’d like that! He hopes so, at least. But the likelihood of her ever seeing his body again, at least not for awhile, was slim. But maybe she and Maizono could hang out….they could have a wonderful vacation, and his death would surely be something to talk about! He can just barely picture their delighted faces as they look out onto the shore from the sand, talking about what may have happened to his body.   
  
His eyes close, and nothingness finally takes him, unaware that the waves were slowly guiding him back to shore, nor was he aware that he was still conscious.

  



	3. Chapter 3

Kyoko isn’t sure what hour it is by the time she stirs from her rest, but when she does the moonlight peeking through the window of her cabin is a pretty good indicator of what time it was. Crashing waves outside catch her intrigue, signs of the moon being at its fullest and most intense to create such high tide. She’s honestly surprised it hadn’t woken her from her sleep sooner, but what did, was the absence of a warmth that had previously been beside her. The lavender haired girl’s heart skips a beat, turning her head towards the darkness of the bedroom in hopes to see the door open just a crack. 

“Naegi?” She calls out, although it’s weaker than she expected, like there was something holding her back from raising her voice. But, that was silly, why would she need to do that? And why was there an ever growing dread in the pit of her stomach? Surely her beloved was just in the kitchen, fetching himself a snack or just shaking off a night terror.

Who was she kidding, he was acting strange all day! Not to mention the concussion he got earlier! Who knows where he might’ve stumbled off to! Of course she could always be wrong, but wouldn’t she have heard noise from the kitchen or any other room if he were inside the cottage? And if not noise, at least see a single damn light on? Something wasn’t right, and with a surge of adrenaline she’s quick to don her boots, lazily putting on a white collared blouse while disregarding the fact she was in nothing more than undergarments beneath.Undignified, yes, but Naegi’s safety could be at risk here!

“Naegi!” She calls out again, rushing from the bedroom to the unsurprisingly empty kitchen, having been untouched since they first arrived. Her head quickly whips around to the living room, a cool breeze wafting in from the slightly ajar door.  _ No signs of a struggle, _ is the first thing that comes to her mind, the orderly and tidy furniture seeming to mock her for thinking Naegi would have been taken, half expecting the wallpaper to peel and curl into distorted smiles,  _ laughing at her.  _

Buttoning up the rest of her blouse she struts outside, fervently glancing around the dock for  _ any _ trace of her husband. His name rings out again, concern laced in her voice this time, unable to hide away the growing nervousness. Kirigiri was never one to lose her resolve, and this wouldn’t either! But the thought of losing him...of one leaving the other yet again…it sent a chill down her spine that no wind could cause.

Just to be certain, just to check all her bases, she goes around the cottage, inching her way between the small space of dock that ends with the back wall of the house. The moonlight reflects over the pitch dark depths, small hints of blue dazzling over the white peaks, her bedroom window just a few feet behind her. And it would’ve been a lovely view were it not for the situation at hand. The moonlight comes to her aid, or perhaps it only stokes her rising panic since the  _ railing _ makes her stop in her tracks. If the scuff marks on the lower bars weren’t a good enough clue as to what had transpired while she had slept-

_ God, she had slept through all this? Naegi was out there, right outside the damn window where she could have heard him she should have heard him she wanted to kick herself for being so ignorant to just- _

then the  _ bloodstains _ dotting a section of the cold metal certainly did. It was semi-dry by now, still slick in its own right, but having hardened to the point where it had thinned out, sticking to the metallic surface. She grips the edges, peering out into the murky depths to try and spot  _ something _ that vaguely resembled a human, although she wasn’t so sure if she truly wanted to come upon such a thing. When greeted with no such image, a tension is lifted from her body, but just slightly. Maybe Naegi  _ didn’t _ fall in, or maybe he did, but he swam to shore? It wasn’t that far, so if the high tides hadn’t dragged him down, then chances were he should be on the shore. 

But even from here, as she leans her head out over the side, the closest section of shore that transitions into small patches and slopes of tropical fauna right beside it are lacking in any kind of body... _ but the signs are prevalent _ . Footsteps being the most notable, imprints just barely made out in the sand against the bitter light of the moon, her gaze trained on the patch of sand as she makes her way down the dock. Eventually she’d have it take her eyes off it, at least in order to go through Hotel Mirai and back around to the beach. And there was absolutely no way she’d risk jumping into those waters, regardless if it was a close swim to shore, and regardless if even Naegi managed to make it, she wasn’t going to chance the slamming waves and freezing cold water that could render her unconscious in moments.

Okay, so at this point, any doubt that Naegi was remotely fine is gone. Because if he had fallen in, if he had happened to cut himself on something by accident, he would have come back to the cottage. The hotel’s doors were unlocked, after all there was no need to keep such doors locked if nobody besides those who knew of the island’s existence visited, so this disappearance was of high concern. She shudders as a particularly strong breeze makes her press her legs together, clutching herself and already starting to regret not putting on proper attire. It didn’t matter though, she’d much rather walk out those doors completely bare than risk Naegi being  _ dead _ , but there was no point in wasting precious time.

She thumbs over her palms, the indented, scarred surface making her wish to ball them up into fists, to try and conceal the one thing she takes more issue with than the damaged side of her face. Despite her regret of forgetting her gloves among other articles of clothing, something as little as insecurities wouldn’t prevent her from seeking out the truth over such a precious matter. Naegi is most likely hurt, but she was still hoping that he wasn’t in critical condition. She barely even notices the transition from the end of the rows of cabins to the back entrance of Hotel Mirai, then all the way back to the front entrance. She does stop to take a quick glance at the pool, checking to see if the cover had been disturbed at all. When she sees nothing of the sort she pushes on the front door, nearly flinching as cold metal makes contact with her bare skin, a sensation she wasn’t exactly used to.

She grumbles something about having to go all the way around from the back of the cabins then back around just to get to a specific section of the  _ beach _ . Although she was more frustrated about the fact that it was more of a time waster, something she definitely needed on her side if she wanted to be slightly successful. The stony path diverted into soft sand, a notable dip right where the cut pathway ends off where the shore starts. And where that may end, a spark of elation starts, her wide lavender stare settled upon the redhead kneeling on the ground, setting up what looks to be a tripod pointed out into the ocean.

“Mahiru-san!” She strolls up to the girl, waving her down to catch her attention. The girl is greeted with a cheery, freckled smile and something in her blood just  _ boils.  _ There wasn’t a second to let slip away, and  _ pleasantries _ were something she considered to allow said seconds to slip away.

“Kirigiri-san!” Mahiru starts, settling back onto her knees, hands on her hips and camera adorned around her neck, fastened with a singular strap. “I didn’t expect you to be up so late, then again maybe you are a bit of a night owl! Have you ever seen a high tide like this? I’ve photographed the beach before but...not like this.”

“I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself but I’m in a rush.” If her panicked tone didn’t set Mahiru off that something was wrong, then Kyoko’s next words certainly will. “Please tell me you’ve seen Nae- Look right here!” In her relief of finding a potential witness she had glossed over the footprints just a yard or so away from the photographer. Kyoko first thought they belonged to her, that she was photographing in a different spot, but when she approaches them, closer inspection gives way to who they really belong to.

Deep shoe imprints, some of them clearly elongated or deeper than others, strange dips in the sand with every other shoeprint. Obviously the owner was dragging their foot, or at least walking with an odd limp to create such prints. The  _ wet _ sand was a dead giveaway though, even on the dry section that the high rising waves did not touch. 

“Mahiru where is he?”

“Wh- I…”

“Mahiru he’s hurt.” She reigns in her temper from flaring, from snapping at her. Maybe if she expresses how dire the situation is, maybe she’d get some answers.

“I didn’t know that was Naegi….a-and I didn’t know he was in danger!”

Kyoko crosses her arms, a hefty sigh leaving her. Her vision wasn’t what it once was, well of course not considering half her vision is nearly  _ blind _ , but her observation skills were far from deteriorated. “So you mean to tell me you watched a figure  _ crawl out of the ocean before dragging themselves out _ and you saw nothing wrong with that?”

“Alright! Jeez…” Mahiru herself wasn’t one to be talked down to, and would absolutely challenge said behavior, even if at times it’s more a misunderstanding than anything. She fiddles with part of her tripod, attempting to adjust the length as she talks. “I didn’t  _ see _ him come out of the water, I was near the docks.” She pauses to point towards the general vicinity of where she was, a patch of the beach that was just across the hotel from this side. “And I was wrapped up in my photo taking! I didn’t notice until he was already shuffling on the beach! I just thought whoever it was that they’d...shown up. Like they came from a direction I didn’t see or didn’t  _ notice _ until…”

“Alright then, that’s….that’s fine. Where did he head off to?” It was a good alibi, not that the redhead had any reason to lie unless she had direct involvement or some kind of interaction with Naegi, which, there was no evidence to even suggest, so this was probably the best she’d get. “Actually, I’ll follow his footprints myself. Thank you.” 

And before Mahiru can even think of a proper response, the former detective was gone, taking off into the night. Although Mahiru had to wonder just  _ why _ the girl was half naked. An oddity, but one that won’t stop her from getting some damn good pictures of the moon and sea.

Normally one would expect the footprints to end once the sand turned back into stone, but not exactly in this case. Given the shoes, as well as most of his body, was submerged and soaked, sand had clung to him from the ankles down, and if it wasn’t the small bits of sand that create a very circumstantial trail for her to follow, the dry stone being stained with water droplets certainly helped too. She follows it, not taking her gaze off it for a second, only pausing to listen to the sound of punctuated birdcall from the jungle section of one of the islands, or the gentle breeze playing tricks on her. 

She expected him not to have gotten very far given his state, but she should learn by now that  _ doubting _ Naegi’s durability was a moot point. Anyone who can survive two killing games, to be brought to the brink of mental and physical exhaustion, could easily drag themselves as far as they wished if they were determined enough. But  _ why? _ Her best hypothesis was that he had an anxiety attack of some sort. He’s been acting odd for the past two days, and she wouldn’t be surprised if something had set him off. The image of the blood on the railing calls back to her, making her tense as following the bits of sand and water become second nature. 

Maybe she shouldn’t let her mind wander, not when this was so integral, but she at least needed to have some piece of the story in order to find out what exactly transpired. Was the blood from an accident? Intentional? The answer was a tad obvious but  _ just in case _ there was room for error, had he jumped in or fallen? The scuff marks on the lower rail made it clear he was in fact  _ standing _ on it, and earlier she had caught him leaning over the edge, something about that “ghost crab” or whatever. So there was the smallest instance that he could’ve done something in a similar vein and accidentally fallen in.

That was bullshit.

Unless Naegi was  _ severely  _ disorientated, which even if he was he would have called out for someone, then he should have gone  _ back to the cottage _ or at least make some sort of  _ noise _ that he was in trouble. If it were an accident, regardless if he had nearly drowned and was extremely blindsided, he would’ve called out for help before fainting. And if he wasn’t, again, he would’ve made his way back to the cabin or at least the hotel’s entrance. There was the chance he could have entered the wrong cottage, but he would have  _ called out  _ for Kyoko, he would have alerted them of what happened, and if he had wandered into the wrong cabin, would be greeted with a very strange surprise.

_ Naegi must have jumped. _

Anyone who thought he was just going for a “midnight swim” in those freezing waters with  _ high tide _ was dense. This had the signs of a suicide attempt, and that alone makes her uneasy. There was just one thing preventing her from fully coming to that conclusion:  _ he had gotten back up _ . His attempt had failed if it was one, but even if it was a failure, he’d do something else to let death claim him, would he not? He wouldn’t just pull himself up and drag himself to who knows wh-

There was only one option. Naegi being  _ suicidal _ led to only one specific cause, and unfortunately her fears were realized. He must have had some sort of nightmare, or just...one little thing that set him off in the middle of the night. He had a despair episode, and attempted to take his life by jumping into the freezing abyss. She feels her gorge rise, having to delicately press her fingers to her lips and swallow back the  _ bile _ rising up from her throat. She blinks away the wetness in her eyes, closing them for what feels like an eternity. She should have stayed up longer, or at least make sure that this wouldn’t happen! They should have gone back the moment Naegi said he didn’t bring his medicine with him! They should’ve- 

Kyoko falls from a patch of grass onto solid wood, wincing as she had not exactly prepared herself for such an impact. At least it was smooth and polished with a fine coat of lacquer so that any sort of splintering wouldn’t be a problem, but that didn’t mean it hurt like hell when she bumped one of her knees rather hard. She pulls herself back up, the sound of rushing water incredibly close to her ear making a small bout of adrenaline pass through her, peering away from the bridge’s edge so she doesn’t risk falling in.

Speaking of, once she assessed the damage, nothing besides a bruised knee and scraped elbows, she glances from either side, silently hoping Makoto hadn’t decided to end his escapade here. When she spots a few more faint particles of sand that certainly  _ do _ go farther out on the bridge, she pulls herself back up, holding back a moan of pain when she has to put pressure on her bruised leg. She staggers in her first few steps, but eventually trudges through whatever soreness arises with each step, determined to find Naegi  _ alive _ .

She kept having too many close calls, going from panicked to relieved with every clue. She’d search this place top to bottom, no doubt about that. Which, looking back on it, she silently curses herself for not having called out to the others in their cottages, to try and wake them up as she screamed for help. Her own rush to save her love made her forget about something that could have  _ aided _ her, but….maybe that would be a waste of time too.

But would it have been? 

So far she’s seen nothing that indicates Naegi is actually  _ dead _ . Injured yes, but perhaps a minute or two could have been spared, right? Maybe Mahiru would tell them, but she isn’t so confident in that. The redhead seemed wrapped up in her work, which she wasn’t going to blame her for, but at the very least she could pause to inform some of the other islanders.

Calling would be of no use either, her phone was back at the cottage, and even if she wanted to call Naegi she didn’t check to see if he had left his as well. But if he didn’t it most likely would have suffered water damage, if not have gotten lost in the waves entirely.

She comes to a slow walk as she reaches the central island, lights pointed to the Jabberwock statue standing so boldly in the center. It was the main decoration, a topper for such a beautifulsm section. She peers near the statue’s base, checking for fresh blood given...well she doesn’t want Naegi to repeat the same injury he had acquired not long ago. Still, she was thankful that there was  _ lighting _ on the island, even at night. Sure it was mostly meant to light up the more serene parts, such as the flora or decor like the statues, but at least it assisted her. With that in mind, she stares out onto the other islands, spotting lights from across each individual bridge. 

They were outside lights that most likely automatically turned on at some point in the night, probably pointed towards something like bushes or maybe just decorative lights. The second island held a few buildings amidst the jungle, but the one that stuck out most was an old abandoned office building, or something that resembled one. It was surprisingly well maintained despite its state of abandonment. Just because it wasn’t used often didn’t mean it had to be treated poorly, but...there were no lights on. Well that wasn’t completely true, there was a set of lights on either side of a trail leading right up to it, but the building itself had no exterior lighting. The same could be said for the fourth and fifth island, one nothing more than a bare patch of dirt with construction lights being centered around development sites, and the fifth island having an unmistakable light path on the jungle trail to help guide those who wish to take a walk at night.

A single noise makes her whip her head towards the bridge to the third island. Oh it was faint, definitely distant, but she had  _ caught _ it. Now, it could be anything, or  _ anyone,  _ but… She had to  _ try _ and call out for him now before making any assumptions. And if she gets nothing...then she’ll go with her gut instinct.

“Naegi?” She tries, idly walking about the park with her chin tilted up, glancing towards each island from across the bridges for any sign of the boy. She hears rustling from the fifth island, but when a few birds fly out from the trees it’s clear that’s all it was. She tries again, a bit louder this time, half expecting to garner the attention of anyone who would still dare to even be up this late. 

Again, nothing, but she does notice the sudden silence of the crickets, their symphony of chirps coming to an abrupt end once the sound of something that wasn’t their own kind disturbs them. She hadn’t noticed it before, but in the darker sections of the park she can spot the soft glow of fireflies, perhaps glowing out of distress from the girl’s shouting. Either way, it had grown more prominent after she had called out to him. When she found she wasn’t going to get an answer besides that of nature, she rushes towards the bridge to the third island, boots slamming against the wood and nearly tripping again because of her bruised knee. 

“Makoto Naegi!” She tries one more time when she reaches the center of the bridge, glancing over her shoulder just in case she got a response from any other island. Much to her agitation, nothingness greets her back, and, well she’s honestly starting to get  _ sick _ of the universe laughing at her efforts to save the one she loves.

Slowing down just the slightest, she makes her way across the rest of the bridge, and that was probably for the best. No sense in trying to confront, or to her worry,  _ catch and tackle _ Naegi if her leg is too sore to function properly. She glances down at herself, biting her lip at the sight of just how  _ wide _ the patch of brown and blue was. She hadn’t really been paying attention to it...did it spread that fast? Her mind couldn’t help but call back to rotting or bruised fruit, like it had just been slammed carelessly on the ground and left to bake out in the sun. She pushes the image out of her mind when she reaches the asphalt of the third island, cement sidewalks lining the buildings dotting the island.

If Naegi wasn’t here then this all would’ve been a bust, and unfortunately her little breadcrumb trail of  _ sand _ had run out once she reached the central island. Thankfully, it’s not long before she spots something out of the ordinary. The hospital, standing proudly with a few exterior lights on, illuminated a big, obvious hint.  _ One of the front windows had been opened _ . It was on the right side, the first window past the door that led into the waiting room and hallway. So it was clear that the front doors must be locked, which was odd since like she recalls, the doors are usually kept unlocked.

She assumes it’s because of Komaeda, Mikan most likely knowing that the boy has a habit of escaping his confines of the hospital with how  _ sick _ he often gets so she must lock the doors whenever she wishes to retire for the night. So maybe it wasn’t  _ always _ locked, just when….very annoying nuisances were checked into the hospital. She doesn’t waste another second, her only option being the way Naegi most likely came in. At least she  _ hopes _ it’s Naegi. But who else could it even be? Maybe it was Komaeda but...he was probably far too weak to even lift up the damn thing. Hell she was surprised  _ Naegi  _ would manage to open it in such an injured, delirious state. 

It doesn’t help that the building full of  _ sharp, dangerous _ objects is where Naegi decided to go, then again she shouldn’t be surprised either. An earlier thought replays in her mind,  _ why hadn’t Naegi tried again if his first attempt at his life failed? _ He had dragged himself an awful long way just to get to the  _ hospital. _ Maybe, just  _ maybe _ , and perhaps she was clinging to a false naivety here, that he had snapped out of his brainwash fueled despair stupor a little bit after he had jumped. He had gone for the hospital instead of heading back to the cottage because of his injury, even if that sounded like a bit of a stretch.

Kyoko chokes back a whine when she has to put pressure on her injured knee in order to crawl through the window. It was just a second,  _ only a second of intense burning like something had tossed a brick onto her leg _ before she was able to climb in. Her feet touch the tile ground once that agonizing second passes, and already she begins to move, only for a tear to ring in her ears. She pauses, turning around to find that part of her white blouse had  _ snagged _ on the edge of the fabric, and thus, a tear had been created.

She’s a bit upset that her favorite blouse had just been destroyed, and that this was practically the only piece of clothing she was wearing to keep herself  _ covered _ , but Naegi mattered more than some tattered top she could easily replace. She tries to keep the ripped sections together, tugging her blouse down just a little more to cover anything above the thighs. What would she even do when she got to him? Her thoughts were a mix between hugging him and coaxing him out of despair, and giving him a stern talking to in order to make his despair  _ stop _ with whatever the hell it was trying to accomplish.

Darkness coats the air save for the outside lighting that just barely seeps in through the windows, casting a small shadow against the wall. Stacked chairs align each side of the hallway, a door at the end of it. It’s the room she’d been in before, when Naegi was evaluated for his head injury that he caused. She would have found this to be nothing out of the ordinary, were it not for the fact that the door was slightly ajar.  _ It isn’t Mikan,  _ her mind instantly comes to that conclusion. Of course she could have forgotten to lock this specific door, but if she remembered to lock the door to the main entrance, then why not this one?

All she has to do is take a few steps further and she’s gotten her answer, halting at the sight of a brass doorknob carelessly left on the floor, the wood where it once was fixed revealing a pale rectangle with four holes drilled on the top and bottom. The wood had obvious splintering around its edges, sharp pieces of shrapnel sticking out, like a thorny swathe of vines tempting her to come closer,  _ to try and dare go a step further in finding her husband. _

She would not be deterred.

It loops in her head as she approaches step by step, her hand reaching out, fingertips just barely brushing against the wooden door-

And it slams right open.

She’s lucky she had flinched back the moment the damn thing moved because the amount of force used to swing it open surely would have caused her wrist to endure severe whiplash. It….isn’t a refreshing sight, the figure standing in the doorway, hospitals beds and medicine cabinets just beyond the far walls, their outlines barely traceable in the fleeting darkness.

“Kiri-s _ aaaan _ ~” 

There’s something so  _ wrong _ with Makoto’s voice. She can’t recall a time where she’s been called that specifically, the list of affectionate nicknames rounding off in her head only for the one he had just spoken in a light, sing song voice to fall short.

But that was the least of her worries.

Naegi was a wreck, no detective work needed to figure  _ that _ out. His hair was still damp, bits of sand and perhaps the tiniest grains of salt dotting his usually light tan mop of hair that had now been colored a darker brown because of the wetness. He was slightly hunched over, leaning against the door as if he were propping himself up against it, falling to his knees if he dared let go. When he stumbles forward she bites back the knee-jerk urge to step back, lavender gaze widening.

“Naegi….” It comes out breathlessly, the girl contemplating if this even was her husband or just some...awful nightmare she was enduring. But it was far too real, the grip on her wrist as she’s pulled in was  _ far too real. _ She only snaps out of her trance once she’s inside the patient’s room and whips around to see Naegi already trying to shut the door despite the broken doorknob, glowing red eyes dancing with glee and a smirk to match.

“I-I’m so glad you’re here….” He whispers, body  _ trembling _ just at the  _ thought _ of the one thing he’s been anticipating tonight the most. “I….needed you….needed you to see m….me….”

Whether he was cold or a break of the mind, Kyoko was immediately unsettled by his broken speech. Her gaze flits to a glint near the floor, eyes wandering the darkness until it rests upon the thing lazily gripped in Naegi’s hand, thankfully lacking blood. 

“I’m glad I came to see you too Naegi….” She starts, disheartenment trailing in her somber tone, brushing part of her lavender hair away from her face before her eyes narrow, lips pursed as she stands before her partner who she adores, who she let deteriorate. She could take the fault later, but for now the least she could do to make it up to him was ensure he didn’t  _ kill himself _ over her. “Because this has gone on long enough. I don’t know how long you’ve been out here, how long since you’ve left the cabin, but you need to come home now.”

At first, she’s met with silence, Naegi looking almost confused until a short chuckle breaks out, her breath catching in her throat as he raises the scalpel to his throat.  _ “I will be soon.” _

“Naegi drop it!”

“Why?” He screams back, most likely going to alert  _ somebody _ nearby even with a tremor in his voice. “Why a-are you so adamant on not letting me- I mean a-at first I thought it was a way t….” He trails off, staring down at his hands, at the blade held tightly in his grip before continuing on, Kirigiri steadily attempting to make her way closer. “To make my torture continue, because even  _ I  _ don’t deserve the restfulness of death. But now you’re just….I can’t do this without you!”

She holds back the surprise in her voice, trying not to give him any indication that she was intimidated, not that she was but the threat against his life was certainly concerning. “Without me?” 

“I want you to  _ watch _ Kyoko, i-it’s the only way to make this right!” Naegi suddenly beams again, like a switch going from the dark preciouses of his unchecked trauma to total, blank mindless despair. “But now you’re here! I-I was gonna go all the way back to the cottage, I swear! Cause when you woke up the first thing you’d see was me! I’d have the blade on my neck and once I….” He shivers, arms going slack at his sides, chin tilted up with a half lidded gaze trained upward, the lazy half grin showing just how much he’s thought of the first thing she tastes that morning being thick viscous copper.

“There’s nothing  _ to _ watch.” Kyoko is quick to deny whatever “plan” he had assembled in his tattered mind, much rather preferring to get him home  _ safely _ , although even now that isn’t much accomplishable when he’s already hurt. “Because I’m not letting you do this Naegi. And...even if we have to do this with every despair episode you have, no matter how worse it gets, I….” She pauses, clutching herself as she glances away. “I’m not giving up on you- I  _ never _ will. Just like you never did for us...for hope. It’s only fair I bring you back out of despair even if it isn’t your fault that you fell into it!”

Naegi blinks, and whether or not Kirigiri could see the twinge of regret flickering in his ruby gaze, it didn’t matter. A call, a tug, a gentle rope pulling on his subconscious.  _ Maybe she was right. _ He had  _ hesitated _ , the smallest break beginning to come through. “But I….” He glances back down to the knife gripped in his hand-  _ had they been shaking the whole time or did it just start? _ He can see flecks of red, his  _ eyes _ in the reflection of the blade, the soft glow around them providing enough light to make it visible. He also happens to see the frown staring back at him when he tilts it, a quiet gasp escaping him.

So when Kirigiri hears something clatter to the floor, she advances. 

Her steps are slow and precautious, knowing how easy it’d be to knock the oh so fragile balance right off if she did anything that would make Naegi panic or sink back towards despairful bliss. Her mind races, not wishing for the thick tension to suddenly snap with one wrong move, but quell it and see if maybe, despite how far this despair episode has dragged him, pull him out of it. To her satisfaction, he doesn’t move, their eyes trained on each other. She isn’t sure if Naegi is registering the fact she’s inching closer, that he  _ did _ in fact want this earlier, except now his only weapon to end himself had just fallen to the darkness.

“Makoto…” She begins, and Naegi’s heart stutters. There were  _ so many _ things he adored about her, including the way her voice can go from stern and unyielding to wistful and genuine in any situation. It was a side of her he exclusively got to see, recalling her habits of how she deals with affection. They had...helped each other, hadn’t they? Her smarts helping him to solve the cases  _ together _ , and he helping her to trust and open up just the slightest bit more despite the circumstances stacked against them.

_ She deserves so much better. _

“K….Kyoko…” He chokes out, the fact that he said her name and not some unusual nickname spurring hope in the girl even more. He lowers his head, blinking slowly until they come to an inevitable close. He wants to wait here, in the darkness,  _ wishing for something to come for him and drag him away and rip him apart- _

It takes him a moment to realize that there’s a pair of delicate arms slinking around his slightly wet shoulders, his shirt clinging to him from having been in the freezing ocean for who knows how long. But...Kirigiri was cold too. It didn’t sit well with him, her being nearly the same temperature as he. “Kyoko, are you…?” He opens his swirled gaze once again, and what he sees makes him tense.

_ Why did she have on nothing more than a blouse? Wasn’t she cold? She shouldn’t have to be cold!  _

“D...Did you come all the way out here like this? Because you-“

“Because I was in a rush to look for you, yes.” Him being coherent was good,  _ really good. _ He was asking questions and had his damn focus off of taking his life. “I would’ve grabbed something else but when I saw that you were gone, I guess I panicked.”

“Panicked?” Kyoko doesn’t  _ panic _ . So what that must mean is, she immediately assumed him to be in danger, even if he was  _ outside _ the cabin she didn’t bother taking it into account that he simply wanted to look out into the water regardless of it being such an odd hour. He… he really had ruined this vacation, hadn’t he?

“I- I guess I wouldn’t say “panicked” but the more evidence I found that you…” She glances away for a second, his bright stare starting to disorientate her in the near darkness just the slightest bit. But she’s recognized those glowing swirls many times, she considers them to be a menace, but it’s still  _ Naegi. _ She wouldn’t hold him accountable for that. 

She blinks when she finds his hands slinking up to gently grasp her wrists, even getting another reaction out of Naegi. It...isn’t exactly positive though. It’s a gasp, eyes that she thought couldn’t possibly get any wider widening, lips parted in a silent gasp, swirled pupils trained on her as he attempts to think of words that only ring hollow in his ears. 

“Kirigiri-“

Her gloves.

It’s what nearly sends him out of it, the urge to  _ protect _ Kyoko over entertaining her with his death. His hands trail further back until he takes hers off his shoulders, glancing down at them. He’s...a bit relieved Kyoko barely reacts to his touch, after all he’s the only one she’d ever trust to touch them. Even when he’s in despair she doesn’t quake in fear that her most  _ personal _ secret is being examined by her husband. And...they’re so cold. Not freezing, but cold enough for concern to bubble up within him. He runs his thumb over the scarred tissue, clasping them together in an attempt to warm them, although it’ll probably only fail since he too was suffering the same drop in temperature, perhaps a bit worse.

The lavender haired girl says nothing, she doesn’t even call attention to the  _ urchin spine _ lodged in his right palm, a visible wound tearing into his skin. It’s when he grins does she become concerned, having no control of her hands as Naegi flings them around his throat. Had something just...snapped in him? Had he teetered back into his despair. “N-“

“I can...give you the honor of killing me Kyoko…” A mix between a laugh and a sob spills past his lips, shaking his head repeatedly. She interjects, of course, denying such a vile act. The rejection does make Naegi pause, his grin having disappeared. Glints of tears are visible in his crimson gaze, another soft chuckle-  _ sob?  _ Leaving him. “Kyoko….Kyoko Kyoko please hel-“

The door to the treatment center bursts open, and the few remnants who actually managed to be woken by Mahiru are greeted with a perplexing sight. But the duo looks to be as stunned as them, only  _ they _ advance first, agonizing cries ringing out as Naegi is restrained by Akane and Ibuki. He kicks and thrashes, desperately trying to escape their grasp while pleading eyes turn to Kyoko. She didn’t plan this, did she? She couldn’t have known he was at the hospital to plan an elaborate attack like this! Or maybe...she lied about going solo, taking a search party with her and told them to wait outside before the time was right to strike.

He calls out her name, calling her out on her bluff, spitting out accusations left and right as the timid nurse makes herself known from behind Hinata, helping to push him down on the bed. It had been a blur to Kyoko, she was already stuck processing the fact that Naegi  _ wanted her _ to watch him die and would only do so in her presence. Now, he was spewing false allegations, that she planned this, that she  _ lied  _ to him.

“I didn’t know they were here!” She quickly objects, beginning to walk towards him only for a hand on her shoulder to stop her.

Hajime’s glazed eyes focus on the detective. He can see the concern, the  _ adoration  _ for Makoto and the unrelenting hope that he’d be okay. “I’m sorry Kirigiri-san...” His voice takes on a less firm, melancholy tone. “Don’t worry though, Mikan’s gonna take care of him and- guys what are you doing?”

The small moment of sincerity is snapped in half at the sight of thin brown material being swiftly attached to Naegi’s wrists, looping around the metal bars of the hospital bed. Of course they’re met with resistance, and it takes Akane pinning down his chest and Ibuki grappling his constantly moving legs to set the leather straps in place, the boy’s chest rapidly rising and falling as frantic eyes dart around the room, or what he can see when he’s strapped down at least.

“Oh my god-“ Kirigiri  _ wanted  _ him to get help, and she had  _ wanted  _ someone to eventually come and rescue him from despair. But this? Him being strapped down? Yes it’s to get him to stop moving about in case someone gets hurt, but the cruel nature of it makes a pit open up in her chest. She’s immediate to call them out before Hinata can, stepping forward as the three girls look on in mild confusion.

“Sedate him instead!” She demands, her attempt to reach the hospital bed falling short as Akane blocks her path, left to only have the image of her screaming husband obscured. 

The fighter stands with her arms crossed, eyes narrowed and frown set upon her lips. “Hell no.” She starts, clearly angered by the  _ idea _ of thinking sedation would work. “I mean- We  _ will  _ sedate him I guess, but not without him being restrained! We had to do this to Komaeda like five times a week when we first got here, we know this routine! So if you could,  _ please _ step back.”

_ Offended _ is the last thing Kirigiri expected to feel on this island, that they’d even talk about her husband in such a manner. She flips part of her lavender hair as her response comes swift and clean, not willing to stand for such nonsense.  _ “Naegi is not comparable to Komaeda in the slightest!” _ Her scowl returns, and while she has the training to defend herself, going against a well trained fighter would most likely not bode well for her given the disadvantage with experience.

“Don’t they both like, talk about Hope a lot?” Ibuki interrupts, backing away as the last strap is secured. The wild haired girl comes to a stop beside Akane, wondering why on earth Kyoko was trying to stop this. “Even if it isn’t the case, he’s all hopped up on despair! He’s gonna hurt her so if all his limbs are just- far apart from each other he can’t move.”

“That’s  _ cruel _ .” Kirigiri says through gritted teeth, quickly rushing past the two girls only to be apprehended by them. She immediately tenses as she’s touched, especially by people she doesn’t know that well when she’s half dressed. She nearly throws a punch at one of them as a reflex that’s been instilled in her for quite a long time now, but she instead manages to wring her arms free of them. “You are  _ not _ going to keep me from helping my husband-“

“Oh jeez!” Ibuki starts, eyeing Kyoko strangely. “Why’re you all...not dressed? And your blouse has a tear!” She glances over her shoulder, then back to Kyoko before her magenta eyes widen, a loud, overly dramatic gasp escaping her. “Did  _ he  _ do that?”

“No way!” Akane cries, her crossed arms balling into fists. “I swear, if his despair made him get like  _ that _ then I’m-“

“What is  _ wrong  _ with you two?” Kirigiri couldn’t believe this, the screams and whimpers eventually just falling into background noise as Tsumiki  _ tries _ not to get involved in the argument. “He did nothing of the sort. I walked out of my cabin dressed like  _ this  _ because I was in a rush. The tear is from when I tried climbing through the window.”

“Ohhhh.” Ibuki draws out the word, raising a finger to her cheek. “Yeah that makes sense. Sorry for accusing ya of being a big ol perv Naegi!” She turns around, waving to him in an excited fashion. Did she...even  _ care  _ about what was going on? Was the rockstar that disconnected or was this some weird way of coping with it?

“If you two dont-“

“You’re  _ not _ gonna loosen his straps!” Akane barks.

_ “Move out of the fucking way Akane.” _

That gets the attention of all  _ four _ of them, even Naegi going quiet. He can’t see what was going on, but that low growl came from Hajime. And they all look forward, Hinata’s head hanging low with his shoulders tense, hands balled into fists to the point where his knuckles had turned white. Was he trembling?

_ “Kyoko’s right.” _ He starts, breath hitching between words.  _ “This is sick. Just sedate him and undo his straps, okay?”  _ Hajime lifts his head up, darkened eyes observing the surprised group of girl’s Akane and Ibuki exchanging a glance.

Then, Ibuki speaks up. “Uh, why don’t we-“

“Do it,  _ now.” _ It was not a request, not a demand, an  _ order. _ He hates that he had remained silent until Naegi was completely strapped down, already able to see light bruising around his wrists from what he could see without Akane and Ibuki blocking his view. It...sent a familiar chill down his spine. Strapped down, treated like an  _ animal- a thing.  _ The fear of being experimented on, calling out for their loved ones, wondering if they’ll rescue them or if they betrayed them entirely… All of those thoughts filled his head in seconds, rendering him completely glued to the floor as he watches on in horror. Flames of memories he wishes to forget have now been stoked once again, his days of being put under the table, bright pulsing lights and nothing more than a dim green color. He couldn’t stand it he couldn’t  _ stand to watch anyone go through anything similar to that hell- _

Kirigiri rushes to Naegi’s side, gripping the metal bars while the Ultimate Hope uselessly struggles. She swears he looks like he's on the verge of his body completely shutting down and passing out, yet he still fights. He still tugs and squirms with whimpers that sound  _ scared _ in her mind. She tenses when his eyes rest upon her, his breathing relaxing just the slightest.

“Kirigiri…” He rasps, expecting her to chew him out, to call him a  _ failure  _ of the talent she had graciously rewarded him in the first killing game. The cold almost stings when he’s instead met with a hand cupping his cheek, the familiar yet rare sensation of scarred skin against his own flesh calling out to him in the back of his mind.

“I’m so sorry Naegi,” She starts, leaning forward just the slightest. “None of this is your fault, okay?”

“It’s….all my fault….” He mutters between shaky breaths. Of course it was. Every murder, every execution, every  _ death _ that could have been prevented since the tragedy started weighed down on his shoulders until it had all collapsed. It was more than just blood staining his hands, his entire being, coated from the inside out in bright glistening pink. “I...let everyone d-“

_ “Mikan!”  _ She’s a bit agitated when a  _ syringe _ is jabbed into his neck, making him tense for just a moment before his eyes flutter closed with a sigh, his breathing falling back to a normal pace. The nervous nurse glances up at the detective from the other side of the hospital bed, syringe in hand.

“S-Sorry! Well, not...super sorry. I know you two probably wanted to talk but I uhm- W-Well if Hinata-kun is going to have us remove the straps then I have to k….keep him docile somehow.”

“And you believed those leather bonds were making him docile?” She arches a brow, arms crossed as Tsumiki quickly catches on to the  _ sass _ she happened to be throwing. This wasn’t a time for petty arguing, she knew that, but to call out  _ blatant stupidity _ was a whole different story.

“At least she’s taking ‘em off!” Akane objects, walking over to stand behind Mikan, glaring daggers at the lavender haired girl. “Like damn, you guys are getting what you want so just back off.”

“In case you haven’t noticed my husband and I went out for a relaxing vacation and now he’s half drowned and in despair because of some...stupid aftereffects from a brainwashing video.”

“Well we  _ all _ sort of got despair brainwashed, y’know?” Ibuki interjects, glancing around the room. “Not you, our entire class. And we don’t have those weird episode thingies Naegi-kun seems to be having.” She leans a bracelet covered hand over to poke the unconscious boy’s cheek with a manicured finger until Kyoko snatches her wrist, clearly unamused.

“Last time I checked  _ your _ brainwashing video didn’t want to make you commit suicide.”

“Debatable.”

Kirigiri shoots Hajime a glare at that.

“Anyways, Tsumiki-san, do you have any experience in creating antibiotics?”

“N-Not a whole lot…” The timid nurse was more busy attending to Naegi than anything else, checking his temperature since she isn’t sure if he’s having a delusional fever or nasty cold.

“Shoot…” If there was a chance that Mikan knew how to create such a thing, Kirigiri isn’t sure that they even have the specific type of ingredients in  _ stock _ that could even be remotely similar to the medicine Naegi takes to quell his despair episodes. “Well I guess I’ll-“

She cuts herself off after stepping back from Naegi, looking down upon his pitiful, unconscious form. She  _ wants _ to stay, wants it oh so bad. She wants to watch his eyes flutter open to reveal soft emeralds that catch the morning rays, wants to taste just a hint of salt when she pecks him on the lips as a good morning gift before fetching him clean water. But if she runs the risk of him still being in despair while she’s here…

She was a liability. A risk to his physical health. He wants her to  _ watch. _ And if she’s the first thing he sees then a quick movement she  _ won’t _ be able to stop in time could lead to…

“I’ll leave.”

“What?” Hinata is stunned at her proclamation, even earning a small reaction from Akane and Ibuki. “But you-“

“I’m the one thing keeping him from dying.” She starts, swallowing hard as that statement  _ sinks in _ and makes her nearly squirm. She hopes it still stays true though, despite how bitter things may look. “If he wakes up and sees me, there’s no doubt he’ll try and harm himself.” A low sigh escapes her, brushing a lock of lavender away from her face. “Tsumiki-san, I’m trusting you to ensure Naegi’s safety while I head back to the cabin.”

“And  _ we’re _ going back to our cabins.” Hajime adds, casting glares at the two girls who are still suspicious about all this. He can tell they’re ready to object when he cuts them off. “Mahiru and Soda are still outside because they’re so  _ tired, _ they wanna get going and you guys are included in that.”

“But Naegi-“

“Mikan will handle it.”

“He’s right!” The girl in question chirps up, setting some medical equipment aside. “I-I can’t exactly stay in here the  _ entire _ night but I can certainly uhm- ch-check up on Naegi every now and then before I have to leave.”

“You’ll run a few tests won’t you?”

“Of course Kirigiri-san! He probably needs to be checked over for physical injuries first though, I-I know this sounds odd but I think he was stung by an urchin…”

An urchin? She had a hunch that large dark skewer embedded in his hand was sustained from being in the water, but she couldn’t really tell that it was an urchin spine in the darkness. “Alright, it’s settled then.” Her gaze rests on Naegi one final time, watching him breath softly, occasionally groaning in his sleep while a limb or two twitches. 

“Naegi….” She pulls back the part of her that wants to reconsider leaving, knowing its for the best. “Stay safe,” She murmurs, leaving the bedside. “I love you.”

  
  
  


“You sure you’re okay?”

It was awfully quiet than it was before, the lack of cricket and cicada song making everyone just a little tense. A thick fog clings to the floor, indicating that it was near early morning, much to the group’s agitation. They all looked in need of a proper sleep, but perhaps none were more exhausted than Kyoko. Half dressed in a ripped blouse while clutching herself to stave off the cold air, Kirigiri just  _ looked _ exhausted, and that was ignoring the fact everyone had dark circles dotting the underside of their eyes.

“I dunno about you, but I could really use some shut eye.” A gaping yawn leaves the shark toothed mechanic, arms outstretched before coming to a rest at his sides.

The redhead who had woken him up places a hand on her hip, huffing indignantly at his nonchalant attitude. “How can you be so casual about this?”

“Guys-“ Hajime warns.

Mahiru is of course met with a raised brow and just utter confusion with a hint of offense, not too sure what she’s getting at. He was just stating that he was tired, that was all! He had nearly passed out right outside the hospital until Hajime and Kyoko came back out. “I’m not! Maybe if I could get a good sleep- or dream even- I might be able to have the brainpower to process what the hell just happened in the last hour!”

“Pretty sure you mean horsepower given how much of a  _ motormouth _ you are-“

“Hey I-“

“Will you two quit it?” Hinata cuts off their honestly _stupid_ argument, earning both their shocked stares. “In case you haven’t noticed I think we’re _all_ tired.” Just looking at the two makes even him want to lay down in the grass and sleep beneath the stars...or whatever stars are left in the early hour sky. “But I don’t think I have to remind you that one of us didn’t just have their _loved one_ incarcerated into the hospital!”

Mahiru bites her lip,shamefully looking away. “That’s...true…” 

“Okay yeah, good point.” Soda rasps, tucking his arms behind his head well he tilts his head up to the sky. “Hey, sorry about all this Kyoko, our heads aren’t really- Where’d she go?”

“What?” The dark brunette turns the other way only to find no sign of Kirigiri, his groggy mind working to adjust to the sudden panic. At least the adrenaline spike will give him the energy to search for her...for a little bit. Where had she even gone? They had just set foot on the central island and now she up and disappears? She had been so quiet, how could she have slipped away so easily?

“Check around the park, alright?”

“It’s pretty small, I’m pretty sure if we don’t see her immediately then-“

“Just...do it,” Hinata huffs, walking away from them followed by footsteps taking off in the other direction.

“Kirigiri-san?” Mahiru starts, wandering towards the ring of flowery shrubs and various plant life that had been precisely planted in a pleasing fashion. “Do you think she’s allergic to flowers or no?”

“How the hell should any of us know?” The pink haired boy groans, peering behind a tree before making his way over to the Jabberwock statue. “But I don’t think that’s important right now.”

“Come on-“ Hinata grunts, picking up his speed. If Mahiru and Soda we’re still having trouble spotting her, then he’s beginning to worry that she might have turned back. That’s when it strikes him. “The bridges!” He cries, the others turning to his voice. “Guys check the bridges to the other islands! She couldn’t have gotten far!”

There’s no verbal response, just the pair nodding before rushing off to check the closest bridges to them. They had just come back from the third island bridge, so the empty section of bridge save for a thick rolling fog proved she had not gone back the way she came. What if she fell into the water? No, that’s stupid! His mind is quick to correct himself, knowing damn well they would’ve heard a splash even if Kyoko didn’t cry out. It isn’t until he spots the bridge to the fifth island that he pauses, something moving out of the corner of his eye.

He’s just barely able to catch a feminine figure be swallowed by the low fog that leads to the uncharted section of the island. Okay it wasn’t  _ that _ uncharted, there was a marked path for a short nature walk but it wasn’t ready yet! They needed to move part of the land and make sure there weren’t any dangerous spots! And most of all they had to add wooden railing to parts of the trail to make sure idiots didn’t go blindly stumbling in, which, there’s a handful who live on this island that Hajime can think of doing exactly that.

“Kyoko!” He shouts, shoes thrumming hard against the wooden bridge, making the wood creak and tremble from how hard he pounded against it.

**“Kirigiri-san!”**

_ That wasn’t his voice. _

At least, the second one  _ behind  _ his own call wasn’t.

It wasn’t that loud, like it was a backing echo to calling her name, but it was  _ too different _ to be just merely an echo. It  _ could _ just be a parrot in that uncharted jungle territory, or at least part of him wants to  _ believe _ that, but the waver in the voice, the pure  _ desperation _ and the familiar sound of shoes against wood off in the distance makes his heart  _ drop _ .

“You’ve got to be  _ fucking kidding me!”  _ He cries aloud, knowing he  _ had _ to get Kyoko away from him. It wasn’t like he  _ wanted _ to separate them. He wasn’t a romantic, but he’d much rather prefer the lovey dovey love fest of locked lips and warm embraces instead of  _ this _ nightmare. In fact, maybe it was a nightmare. Just a sleep deprived induced nightmare.

_ He knew better than to consider it a nightmare _

“Kirigiri!” His shoes slam against the rickety bridge in a desperate attempt to catch up with the girl. He nearly coughs from just how much  _ mist  _ is dripping in from the untamed tropical land of the fifth island, vision surrounded by a thick light gray until a figure outlined by the darkened trees behind her comes into view.

He skids to a halt, nearly slamming into the wide eyed ex-detective. “You need to go,  _ now!” _ Perhaps he should give context since Kyoko was rather taken aback by this.

“Go?” She starts, glancing over her shoulder. She’s surprised he didn’t ask her  _ why  _ she had strayed from the group, why she wanted to take a solemn walk to just….gather her thoughts, but a new sound is quick to make her look out into the dense fog Hinata had just appeared from.

“Naegi is….coming….” He chokes breathlessly, trying to suck much needed air into his lungs.

“What? But I thought he-“

“Kyo-san~!”

Her entire being freezes in terror, rooted to the spot as the voice grows louder, only punctuated by the call of her name.

“If he sees you he’ll-“

“I know.” She assumes by this point, Makoto is desperate, so a single sparing glance would be enough to allow him to finally take his life. But if she keeps her eyes off him, turns away, she could prolong and possibly prevent him from offing himself. The idea of  _ running away and ignoring  _ her own husband made a sensation that reminded her of ice slowly dragging down her spine creep in, but losing Naegi for good would be  _ far worse _ than temporarily giving him the silent treatment.

There’s a long, odd silence, only for Mahiru and Soda’s panicked voices to ring out from within the central island. What sounds like a scuffle occurs until there’s the ever growing sound of footsteps on wood, closing the distance between the two.

Hajime groans in agitation, whipping around to face the lavender haired girl once more. “Kyoko leave!” He’s far more direct and even aggressive about it, perhaps a little too much. Because the moment his angered cry leaves his lips she takes off without another word, except…

“Stay on the trail!”  _ Shit,  _ she was gonna get killed out there! The path was there for a reason because the ground is  _ unsteady _ and they were still making plans as to how they were going to renovate around it. But she’s far too gone for his warning to reach her in time, taking off into the misty night. If the unstable land wouldn’t kill her, then her getting  _ lost _ certainly would.

Just as he’s about to set foot off the path  _ something _ comes to a stop at the bridge’s start, breathing heavily. He already knows what it is, a humanoid figure with beads of sweat rolling down his temple, panting heavily as if exhausted while his shirt hangs loosely from his body. Beaming red eyes reach his frightened stare, grin locked in place with a small pocket knife held in a white knuckled grip at his side.

“Where’s….Kyoko….?” He growls, glee dripping from his lips. “I know she’s  _ here, _ I- I need her!”

“Naegi, you  _ need _ to go back to the hospital.” Hinata states firmly, approaching the boy with caution. It’s unlikely, but he  _ really _ doesn’t want to get stabbed tonight.

“Why aren’t you answering me?” He cocks his head to the side, smile falling so fast it even caught Hajime off guard for a split second. “What did you  _ do _ to her?”

“Nothing!” He snaps back, now only a few feet from the boy. Why was he spouting such accusations? He was no threat to him nor Kyoko, and yet he’s going to stand there and spout such nonsense? “And you’re not getting past me.” He nods to the pair rushing up behind Naegi, blocking his way back. “You need  _ help _ , and-“

“Yeah!” He barks giddily, a manic laugh bubbling in his throat. “Yeah and I  _ need _ Kyo-santo do that!”

“She doesn’t want to see you.” It was a lie, but maybe being harsh would turn the deranged boy away.

“Of course she does! She wants to see me  _ rip  _ myself open! She wants to see all the pretty details- she is  _ such _ a stickler for the  _ details _ you know!” He pauses, a dreamy sigh escaping him while he presses the tip of his index finger to the knife’s point, applying a gentle pressure just to sate the craving to spill his own blood. “Just another reason to adore her even more…”

“Dude just give up you’re not gonna get through!” Soda’s rather blunt statement doesn’t affect Naegi in the slightest, the Ultimate Hope and former Ultimate Lifeform locker in a staredown.

Until Makoto charges forward, shoving Hajime hard. He had no strength to be an adversary to him in any sort, so it was a bit hard to shove the taller boy down. What he did have, was burning determination, and he’d get to Kyoko no matter how much he had to fight, how many scrapes and bruises he’d get…. In the end, it wouldn’t  _ matter _ because the miserable punishment that was  _ living  _ would be over soon, so why take the time to even  _ care _ about his body?

Hinata falls hard on his rear, his pants getting caked in slightly damp dirt, nails digging into the earth to catch himself. Something tumbles beside him when he had tried to grab Naegi in the process, a shining glint to the object that gives him a little bit of hope. It was his pocket knife, blade surprisingly dull and jagged, save for the sharpened point. He probably wanted to make it a slow death if he intended on using  _ this _ to end it, but that would no longer be the weapon’s use. Hajime folds the knife back into its slot before tucking it into his pocket just as Mahiru and Kazuichi rush to his side, helping him up.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” The worried questions of his friends overwhelm him, oddly enough. But he’s quick to recover, brushing off any loose dirt from his pants. “But we have to find Naegi before  _ he _ finds Kyoko.”

“Well yeah,” The photographer starts, folding her arms. “Let’s go! Hajime, we’ll take the lead while you hang back.”

“W- Why do I have to hang back?” 

“Because you’re hurt?”

“What? No these are just...small bruises.” He rolls his eyes as the other two take off, quickly following suit. “Fine.”

Kirigiri is silently calling herself every name in the book for being so  _ stupid _ . This was ridiculous, even Considering herself to be  _ so childish _ for running away. This wasn’t a game! There was no prize to be won here, no competitive victory in the works. The  _ mature _ thing is to simply confront Naegi, but in a spur of the moment reaction from Hinata’s shouting and the fear of losing Naegi clinging to her, a slip of the mind happened, adrenaline fueling her as she dove into the tropical forest.

Now, within the dreary mist, she could barely see ten feet in front of her, feeling her way around as she weaves through trees. She stumbles a bit, and had nearly stumbled into a spiderweb before she finally found what looked to be a good place to rest. It was a small part of the jungle, just a patch that was surrounded by trees, a bumpy, mossy section of what she assumes to be a rock with vines and roots swathing around the circumference. 

She walks around and over to the rock, the mossy peat squeezing out water with every step nearly making her wince. She comes to a stop at the rock, making sure her footing is solid before peering out into the tropical forest. There wasn’t anything she could really see save for a few trees. Oh, she could catch tiny movements out of the corner of her eye, but they were low to the ground and most likely from an animal. She gazes back over the forest again, and when she finds nothing, she sighs, ready to sit down.

She screams and nearly slips down when she sees the person leaning against a tree just a few yards away from her.

“Naegi?”

“Kyo-san!” He chirps, stepping forward and revealing himself. Now was his chance! Just as he reaches for his back pocket Kyoko gasps, turning her head away from him. He stops moments before he could reach in, blood rushing through him as he was  _ once again _ robbed of his opportunity to let it gush open and stain the ground. “Come on,” The whine in his tone makes Kyoko shiver, like that of a child begging for a toy. “Why won’t you look at me? Don’t you wanna see how p-pretty I’ll look when I die for you?”

“No.” She starts, closing her eyes. “No Naegi, I-I don’t.”

“But-“

“I don’t want you to die at all.” She whips her gaze back to Naegi, her lavender stare piercing into his soul, and for a moment, he forgets to grab his weapon so he can end it. Her fury quickly melts away into sorrow, eyes glossed over. “Please…” She murmurs, tossing away just a sliver of her defiant nature to reveal a softer truth underneath, one only  _ Naegi _ was allowed to see. Her voice softens, nearly edging on desperation as she tries to get through to him. “I…I can’t blame you for thinking I’d want you dead or hurt in  _ any _ way, since it’s your despair talking, but Naegi I….I-“ 

She cuts herself off with a huff, crossing her arms in a defensive manner. “I dunno. I want to help you, and I want to see you overcome this! I want to do this  _ together _ but if I’m just a  _ risk _ to your life  _ every single time _ then I don’t….” Her voice drops to a mumble, slowly stepping off the rock. “I don’t know what to do anymore.”

For the first time, something seems to  _ get through  _ the despaired boy, just like how she had just barely managed to reach through to him in the hospital. “Kyoko…” 

“I don’t care  _ what you do _ , I am going to  _ stop you  _ from killing yourself each and every time because to grant you such a request, to enable it, would be  _ evil. _ And...maybe right now, when your mind is like... _ this, _ you’d think of me to be that evil…”

“What?” He’d never think of her as evil! In fact she was a blessing! His one ticket to avenging his dead friends for good! “I would never-“

“We’re going home,” The  _ pathetic whimper _ makes Naegi flinch as she lifts her head, tears spilling out from her good eye. “I don’t think you’ll get better without your medicine, at least...not right now.” 

What was going on? This….this wasn’t right. The defeated tone in her now sorrowful voice, the once hard edge that had completely vanished, it unsettled him. “Kirigiri wait!” He reaches out to her, eyes flashing gray for just the  _ smallest _ instance, although it could’ve just been a trick of the fog. “I-I want to make this work, for us to compromise maybe?”

“None of this is going to work,” She murmurs, stepping out from behind the rock and walking a clear path directly to him, her eyes locked into his as she blinks away whatever few tears she had just spilt. As she walks, the mossy ground dips beneath her, a soft moan erupting from below ground. Her gaze leaves him for a moment, but when it comes back, something is  _ horribly wrong _ . Her eyes are dulled, like the light had just been plucked right out of them and left a husk in their place. Her once stern body language was now limp and tired,  _ god she was so tired she just wanted it to stop she wants to not even think about it anymore- _

She smiles at him, something he wanted  _ so badly _ but now wishes he could take back, wishes it could stop just as much as she does. “Which is why-“ 

The ground gives beneath her, and Kyoko falls.

Naegi’s heart just  _ stops _ because one second he was trying to process why the  _ hell _ it looked like a light had just been snuffed out inside his wife, and the next, the unsteady ground gave way, large clumps of dirt falling with her. Pebbles and roots cascade down and a heavy splash echoes across the night, Naegi gripping the edge of the hole and peering into the water filled cave while he grips at the grassy edge. He doesn’t hear the three people behind him quickly make their way over to him, horrified gaze set on what’s down below.

_ “Kyoko!” _

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

_ “Kyoko!” _

“Naegi what the fuck are you doi- Naegi!”

Hajime had  _ tried _ to grasp Naegi by the shirt color at the last second but all he got was a fist full of damp air and a grassy stained shirt. He pulls back, grimace set on his face as the Ultimate Hope plunged down into the gaping hole that had just opened up from seemingly nowhere. He scrambles back when a splash fills his head, fills his  _ mind _ and echoes for much longer than it actually had. Such a mundane noise racks his brain, the shocked boy backing away until he’s certain he’s on safe ground. They...they  _ knew _ the ground was unsafe! They should’ve kept Kyoko and Makoto away from it in fact they should have closed off this stupid island until they figured out what they even wanted to do with it!

The high pitched shriek causes him to whip his head around, reminding him of a wailing siren of what’s to become. “S-Soda….” Is the first thing he stammers, not even trying to speak louder than the pink haired mechanic’s inane ramblings. Hinata can only feel the cool wetness of the moss beneath him, an odd numbness having overtaken his body. He wants to move, he wants to stand on both legs and tell Kazuichi that screaming will solve  _ nothing. _

Yet he can barely hear, if understand, what he’s even saying anymore.

It’s background noise, senses blurring and clinging to the one sensation he has left. He runs his fingers through the cook damp moss, repeating the motion faster and faster until he’s dragging his palm along in squishy peat, the motion quickly becoming second nature. In Soda’s panic, Mahiru seems to be the only one who takes notice of Hajime’s thousand yard stare that delves out into the trees, or in his instance, absolutely nowhere. He’s looking, but his mind is somewhere else entirely. The trees, that look more winding and threatening than ever before to the boy, are just the surface behind the terror and guilt that makes his chest feel as though a heavy piece of equipment had just been bared on his chest and he had to  _ fight _ just for a single breath of air.

“Hinata-kun?” It is  _ more _ than concerning when the Photographer’s touch doesn’t make him turn to her, hell his shoulders don’t even tense when her hand brushes against his shoulders. “Hajime what do we do?”

“We….We need to get help….”

  
  


Naegi half expected to be knocked out the second he collided with the water. If not the sheer cold, then the impact of the fall absolutely would have. But luck decided Naegi isn’t been through  _ enough,  _ that he wouldn’t even be granted a more easier death- not that he wanted that- and to see his friends again. But even so, perhaps this missed opportunity is one he should be thankful for, because his top priority, is his wife.

Even now he doesn’t know what got into him, why he dived in after her after mere seconds of her body disappearing into the lagoon, but wherever they were, had light brown walls made from smoothed our rock, most likely a result of the crashing waves. Makoto didn’t exactly get the best glimpse, but when his head pops out of the water with a deep gasp, it’s integral he takes in his surroundings in spite of his disorientated state.

He makes  _ sure _ Kyoko’s head is always above the water as he drags her away from the depths, not that the lagoon was intensely deep. There was a bottom, one that was visible by the few days of moonlight peeking through the hole in the grassy ceiling, but obviously, wading around in now muddy waters wasn’t the best option. His once fluffy set of hair, even in its shortness, clings to his skin, his ahoge having vanished and now nothing more than part of the slick mop attached to his head. The same went for Kyoko, except Naegi fretted over her having lavender locks cling to her mouth. It might constrict her breathing! Oh god, was she even breathing?

With a slippery hand the despaired boy manages to get a hold of the smooth, rocky floor, hauling Kirigiri up first. It’s...ungrateful but she’s  _ safe,  _ almost. Naegi sputters when he pushes himself up onto the ground, shaky arms giving out beneath him the moment he manages to get his body onto the floor, his cheek making contact with a chill cold. He swallows, eyes fluttering slightly as he tries to process just where he was and what he can even  _ do. _ Kyoko needed help, for starters, but someone like  _ him,  _ someone who  _ did this to her _ could never. What if he ends up hurting her more? Can’t she see that?  _ This _ is one of the reasons he  _ has  _ to die! And why kirigiri has to watch! It’ll give her closure to see the person who’s gotten her put in danger so many times over tear himself apart! 

So why did she try her damndest to prevent it?

_ Lots of things, _ Naegi tries to ration in his poisoned mind as he shakily hauls Kyoko towards the entrance split between two of the rocky walls, revealing a small cave. He can just  _ barely _ feel the nerves in his fingertips and soles, the pinching cold having enveloped most of his body. His soaked clothes bore an extra weight on him, nowhere near as immense as his guilt, something of that weight he wishes to one day crush him as a form of vengeance. 

“Kirigiri….” He rasps breathlessly as soon as they’re in the shelter of the small cave, light peeking through the crevice he had just shimmied the both of them into. Once again, he finds his knees to be of little use as he drops, any support now gone. “Kir….i…..” From what little light he had, Naegi’s heart sank upon the sight of her. She was pale and soaked, and no doubt in shock from the fall. And oh how he  _ desires _ to see her lavender eyes flutter open, for her to gasp and cough up any seawater that had gotten trapped between her lungs.

_ He just wants her to be okay. _

“I’m….so sorry-“ He whimpers, lowering his head. His fingernails dig into the mix of water and loose gravel, body already trembling violently. Was it from the horror of it all? The shock of the cold? He didn’t care, he  _ deserved _ to feel this way.

But Kyoko didn’t.

She didn’t deserve a busted lip, she didn’t  _ deserve _ a rapid incline towards hypothermia, and she didn’t deserve to be  _ trapped _ with someone like Naegi. It repeats in his mind over and over, how if he had just ended himself  _ quicker,  _ that if he had destroyed himself back in the final killing game upon his first taste of despair then Kirigiri wouldn’t even be in this mess! Maybe….maybe she should wake up to him being dead instead. Would she like that? A twitch of a smile from a on his lips, but it quickly eroded into a frown. 

He….he can’t just leave her. Not now at least. What if she dies? He has to make sure she doesn’t meet a cruel fate first, he’s going to let her be saved! Oh he can rot here for the rest of his life, in fact he’s intending on it! Cold and alone, stuck inside a cave...perfectly fitting but nowhere  _ near _ brutal enough. His eyes scan what little there was in the cave. Was there anything sharp? A jagged stalactite? Or perhaps the lagoon carried sharks, perhaps smaller ones so that it takes longer to rip him apart. He gasps at the thought of that, biting his hand to stop an obscene noise from leaking past his lips. The water clouding with blood,  _ his _ blood, dozens upon dozens of easier sharp teeth digging into his flesh, ripping apart the sinue….if it wasn’t for the unbearable cold he nearly forgotten about he’d be  _ excited _ .

“Kiri-San,” He places a hand on her shoulder, gently nudging her only to be met with a limp roll of the head. “K-Kiri-San!” He tries again, raising his voice just the slightest, desperation crawling within it.

“C-C’mon….you gotta wake up….you gotta wake up and s-see! You can’t die before you see me d-die! In fact, I don’t want you to die at all! I….never wanted you….to….”

He comes to a slow, eyes rolling back as the room tilts on its axis, yet Naegi remains put. He’s met with the smooth stony floor again, a blur of colors filling his vision until he can just see hot pink meld with red, the bright colors swirling and melting into an unholy hell’s cape, oozing down Naegi’s vision. The boy chuckles lightly to himself, a switch having completely flipped within him. His laughter only grows until it turns manic, feeling the salty seawater turn warm as it starts from the corners of his eyes and runs down his cheeks, looking out into the cave’s entrance while he lays there pitifully. It was just….seawater. That’s all it was! Even though it’s far more thick and flows much quicker down his face, even though it leaves  _ stains _ on his skin and makes the actual saltwater that mixes into his eyes  _ sting _ with pain, he knows it’s just water!

The broken laughter causes  _ something _ to stir, a soft groan escaping the lavender haired girl. The wetness had turned her hair a much darker shade than it was dry, the same going for Naegi. The first thing she was able to feel besides the sting of the freezing chill, was something  _ wet _ sticking to her, like a heaviness had simply been dumped on her. It doesn’t take her long to piece together that she was completely covered in water, and the briefest images of her falling, of Naegi ascending before his form disappeared from her sight, only to be met with the lagoon pulling her in, fills her head. 

“Ngh-“ She doesn’t dare try and touch the bump she most definitely has near her temple, the throbbing sensation alone proof enough of that. And when she grits her teeth, the taste of copper makes itself present even with the thick coating of saltwater on her palette. She lifts her hand, nearly gasping at just how  _ pale _ it was before gliding a finger over her lip. Well, not exactly a glide per say, more a weak fumble where her weakened hand just so happened to bump against her lip, revealing the sliced wound she had gained.

Another cry leaves her, the salt of the water mixing into her cut lip most likely not a pleasing combination. However this does garner the attention of the laughter’s source, coming to an abrupt end.

Makoto’s grin is so wide when he sits up she swears it looks like his cheeks are about to split open. “Kyo-San!” He cries, like he had just reunited with a long awaited friend. “Y-You’re okay! You’re okay you’re okay y-“ He repeats the phrase, turning into a shaky mumble as he clutches himself, chest rising and falling predominantly through his grit teeth. “At least you will be….” He finally interjects himself, spiraled gaze searching the cold rocky floor.

Something in those vibrant glowing eyes lights up upon the sight of something Kyoko can’t quite see, catching the faintest hint of a glisten within the darkness.

She hears something  _ scrape _ against the stone as she attempts to sit up, and in her bleary vision her heart nearly stops.

She’s slow to settle on her knees just as Naegi was, blinking away any sort of dizziness, or in this case,  _ forcing it _ away so she knew exactly what she was looking at. Naegi was shaking, and she just  _ knew  _ it was from glee even with a throbbing head and aching cold choking her ability to even  _ think. _ His swirling red gaze was set right at her, the red glow reflecting into the whites of his teeth as he grinned, a wiry piece of bent scrap metal clutches in both his hands, the sharpened end pointed at his throat.

“K-K….Kyo…..” He stutters, tilting his head back ever so slightly as the metal end draws nearer.

She’d cry out his name, she’d smack the metal out from his hands, she’d pull him into the tightest hug she could possibly conceive and tell him how  _ good _ he was, that none of this was his fault and that tearing himself up like this would only make things worse. He needed  _ help _ , and she’s  _ tried and tried _ but tonight he just wasn’t going to accept it. And she’d try again...if she hadn’t figured it out.

Naegi doesn’t realize that it clicks for her, but when it does he can see the light in her eyes, whatever little she had left, flicker out. It was just as it was above ground, moments before they were dragged into this hellhole to  _ suffer. _

But he waits.

He waits and waits and waits.

When a solid two minutes pass, the piece of rust coated metal still in his grip, he swallows. His grin had vanished, but it was replaced with a wicked smile, the corner of his lip twitching on occasion. “Kiri-San?” He finally breaks the silence, the girl’s hazy gaze having gone towards the floor. There was...an inch of a smile on her face,  _ bittersweet, _ is what pops into Naegi’s despair riddled mind.

When he doesn’t get a response he clutches the scrap piece tighter, unsure if he had cut himself or not. He was so cold he couldn’t even feel the metal in his grasp! But all it took was one thrust, one hard jerk and his throat would be pierced, he’d bleed out in front of Kirigiri and….

_ Something was wrong. _

This felt off, so  _ very off  _ but why? He’s gotten what he’s wanted, Kyoko was here, completely relenting in trying to stop him so that he can carry out what he’s always wanted to-

_ That was it _

He’s had so many minutes to do this, to have Kirigiri’s undivwrted attention and finally put an end to both their misery, and yet, he hesitated. He  _ waited. _ And now he knew what for.

“Y….You’re not gonna try and stop me again?” The metal wavers just a bit, but the girl barely even pays mind to what he had just said.

_ It was a routine _ . Kyoko’s resistance was a routine every time he had a despair episode. He’s had objects taken from his hands so many times wether it be from gentle coaxing or by force before he could harm himself with them. Kyoko….always had good intentions with it, didn’t she? But….it’s not good that she’s preventing him from dying, right? Why does she care about his life even after what he’s done to her? Time and time again, the same thing over and over- surely it must wear down on her psyche surely she’s  _ sick _ of fighting a losing battle!

“Oh,” The monotone, nearly emotionless voice catches Naegi’s attention, lifting the metal back towards his throat. 

_ Why did she want her to stop him? _

He….doesn’t get what he quite expected. A gloved hand slowly raises itself before extending towards him, kirigiri taking her sweet time before gently grasping the thin scrap metal. There’s a pause, one that’s far too long for Makoto to indulge in. And for a second, he believes she’s going to release her grip until he loosens his own, allowing the metal to lazily clatter to the floor. Kyoko glances at it for a moment, gaze lingering on the object before she focuses back to the floor, eyes dull with that half smile still resting in her face.

“You….” She didn’t  _ take it _ from him. She just….let it fall to the floor. It’d be so  _ easy _ for him to just grab it again, to be even quicker and this time Kyoko would be too late!

But he doesn’t do that.

His focus shifts from being inches away from his goal to the  _ dead _ look in Kyoko’s eyes. “Kirigiri…?” He murmurs, placing both unsteady hands on her shoulders. She moves the slightest bit upon his touch, but nothing he’d consider a reaction. “Kirigiri!”

“I’ve….figured it out….” The slowness in her voice, the lack of enthusiasm in her tone, it pierced Naegi’s heart with worry. The girl shifts, a soft groan leaving her until her head is resting in Naegi’s lap, her hair slowly but surely starting to dry within the cold confines.

“F-Figured what out?” Wouldn't Kirigiri normally be excited when she solves something? Or at least content? This….this felt different. And her eyes, god her  _ hazed eyes _ were so offsetting. Is this how she feels whenever she has to gaze upon his glowing spirals? It….it feels horrible! Why would he subject Kyoko to something like this? To watch the pained stare of their lover? It was just all the more reason he needed to-

“You….miss them that much, don’t you?”

“Huh?”

“Your friends….our friends….” She starts, tilting her head to the side. She gazed up at the curling, trying to think more about the echoes created by swirling breezes and dripping water over her own voice. Perhaps she was wrong,  _ maybe she was always wrong,  _ but telling him what “mystery” she had just figured out would be at the very least cathartic. 

“You just….wanted to see them again.  _ So  _ badly….”

“I-I do Kyoko, but I wanna do this for your sake too!” He forces a smile, gently grasping her hand. A breathy sigh escapes Kyoko, fingers slowly curling around his grip, entwining them.

“No no, not that….” She murmurs, catching Naegi off guard.

“Not what?”

“You….wanted to see them again….you were so desperate that….” Her eyes close for a moment, knowing that she had only repeated herself. But did it matter? Did she even  _ care?  _ At this point, it really didn’t to her. “That you’d do anything just to see them, to talk to them….even in their worst moments….”

Makoto tenses.

“Is that why you left the medicine behind? Because you...didn’t want to be away from them? I noticed your episodes became more frequent but I didn’t think that you’d….”

“Kirigiri that’s-“

“It’s okay Naegi.” The rattled breath sets Naegi on edge, gently holding the girl as she continues on. Ah, she can see the guilt on his face, twisted into despair and guilt from keeping this from her, thinking that if he had been honest that they wouldn’t be here...but that was far from it, so  _ so far. _ “I think I….miss them too…and we’d...we'd do anything to have them back wouldn't we? Even if it’s not real, we’d…”

“Kirigiri,” A pathetic croak leaves him, finally acknowledging that he has  _ tears  _ in his eyes, inhaling sharply before stuttering out a sob. “Kirigiri no it- it was  _ stupid  _ of me!” That’s what she’d say if she wasn’t in this wretched state, if she wasn’t in the brink of freezing and having her entire being completely void of light. And she’d be right. She’d chew him out and he’d deserve every  _ word _ that leaves her mouth. “I didn’t know what to do I- I just-“ 

It happened in one instance, when he locked himself in the bathroom for hours and amidst the pounding and wailing on the door he actually got a chance to  _ converse  _ with the hallucinations. For once they had stopped spewing insults, but oh they were being so tempting for him to join them. He doesn’t even know if they’re just... _ caricatures  _ his own mind had made up since he  _ forgot _ what they were truly like or if there was an essence of their personalities inside these warped visions, but it felt so  _ real _ to Naegi. It almost felt….normal. Like everyone was alive and that they were so joyous to see how badly he wanted to die!

He remembers how...Chihiro gladly said they’d program some sort of...death machine for him, something that would make his death slow and unbearable. He remembers the pop star’s sadistic grin when she said she’d give him the performance of a lifetime, one so loud his head would  _ burst _ from just how loud she’d be. All of it,  _ for him. To avenge them _ . And despite the morbid topic, it felt  _ good  _ to just  _ talk _ to them. Besides they were right! He deserved all those things and more. He still fantasizes about when Mondo went through painstaking detail about how he’d chain one end of him to a wall and the other to his motorbike. Then he’d step on the gas and…

_ It was great. _

_ It was the closest thing he had to old times. _

_ How could he let them go? _

How could he give them up, how could he  _ destroy  _ his friends with his medication? He’d disappoint them, he’d make them feel unwanted! Even worse, he’d never see them again! To have his friends back was oh so sweet, but to continue living was selfish. So...so maybe to see his friends again, just to  _ cope _ with their losses, he converses with their warped mockeries of them. Just to re experience what little joy there was in his despair, and that only lead to subconsciously triggering episodes and taking his medicine, only to later stow the unswallowed pill into the trash.

“It’s-“

“It’s all my fault.”

A quiet gasp leaves Naegi, not expecting that to come from his wife. “No-“ He immediately objects, clutching her tighter. “No no Kiri it’s not-“

“If I had done something….” She sighs, unable to bring herself to look Naegi in the eyes. Not that she was afraid to be met with those red spirals again, but how could she when she’s  _ failed him? _ “If I had taken notice sooner then I would have….then we…..”

“Kirigiri…”

“Maybe if I had stayed dead in the final killing game then-“

“Kirigiri don’t say that!” Panic shoots through Naegi the instant he hears that, even beating out the coldness overtaking him. “D-D-Don’t ever….say that. You had no other choice, a-and I’m glad you’re alive! We all are!”

“Even now?” She counters, taking the briefest moment to look around, to fully take in the situation they’ve gotten into. “And I had a choice, Naegi, I  _ had _ one. But I would  _ never _ have chosen the alternative….I could never imagine intentionally getting you killed, let alone have you die by my hand.”

The sudden burst of uncharacteristic laughter makes the despaired boy flinch, even disturbing him to a degree. “Oh what am I saying?” She turns her head away from Naegi, more so taking to herself at this point. “I-I’m…. _ such a hypocrite!” _

“Kyoko I-“

Naegi’s concern is drowned out by Kyoko’s confession of guilt, only able to listen to the wounds she had just tore open. “I sent you to your death in the first killing game-  _ I framed you,  _ and you forgave me? And even now, even  _ here,  _ you still intend to forgive me for this? Maybe the only thing that kept me from having you killed in the final killing game was my guilt from the first time around. Maybe I’m just…that evil.”

“You’re not evil!” His voice raises to a shout, gently cupping her cheek and tilting her head towards him. He pushes past her hollow eyes, the lack of  _ any _ hope dwelling within them to console her. “You and I both know that you didn’t kill me because you  _ cared _ about me. A sacrifice had to be made, and you made one…” His voice drops into a soft murmurs, gently caressing her sleek lavender hair. “I just wish it never came down to any sort of sacrifice in the first place. I am so sorry if I  _ ever _ made you feel like….”

Kirigiri  _ reacts _ much to the Ultimate Hope’s relief, leaning into his touch. That...still doesn’t change much though, the poor girl still being pushed down an endless spiral of guilt and regret.

“I wouldn’t have killed you anyway, so there’s not much of a point in apologizing.”

“Kirigiri, that day, a-at the trial, when I was about to be executed-“

“Sometimes…” Kirigiri breathes, her grip tightening on Naegi just the slightest bit as her body grows tense and racked with shivers. “Sometimes I….w-wonder what would’ve happened if...i-it had b-been...me-“

“Please stop saying that!” Oh god, now  _ he _ was being hypocritical, wasn’t he? But he actually deserves it! “Kirigiri, we need you. I c-can’t imagine a world without you…” That’s why he’d never contemplate killing her! Oh he’d let her wedge a hot metal blade between his neck, letting the bright pink ooze drips down until he chokes out, squirming in front of her until he drops dead. The Ultimate Hope could be a legacy, something that doesn’t have to end with the original gone, but where will there ever be another Kyoko Kirigiri?

“And I…” She pauses between a hacking cough, her freezing grip tightening on him just the slightest bit. “C-Can’t imagine a world without you… You inspire hope in others Naegi, why would you want to snuff that out?” She raises a hand to her bottom lip, although it’s pointless since she can only feel a pinprick I’d pressure when she actually touches them. Yet the panic doesn’t settle, she doesn’t alert Naegi that she was genuinely  _ freezing _ , and may not have much longer. But why tell him? She...she  _ deserved it _ after all didn’t she? And Makoto’s protests...they were a moot point. Why believe him when he’s in such suicidal despair? His line of thought was warped and hers would be soon too, so how could she possibly take it to heart if she can’t peel back the layer of the  _ true  _ Ultimate Hope lying beneath this despairful shell?

“Naegi I-“ She blinks slowly, breath rattling as she draws in damp, musty air. She’s met with a shush, her husband lifting her to hold her in his arms. A last attempt at bringing warmth to her feeble body? Pointless. She was already too far in, and she doubts he could pull her back out.

“Save your strength, okay?” His mind roared at him, beating down on him like a constant blow to the head.  _ Your fault _ it yells, ceaseless in destroying what little shred of stability the boy has left.

The lavender haired girl slumps against the boy, hair messied along his shoulder and back. She doesn’t bother explaining that she’s out of strength, and more importantly out of time. What she does do, is lift her head, something just barely starting to take shape in the darkened cave.

“Naegi…”

“Kyoko-“

“Please, it’s….it’s important.”

He doesn’t want to try and be coaxed out of his despair again…. _ but what if it meant saving her life?  _ No! No, he couldn’t think that way. All his Hope ever did was put her and everyone else in danger! He’s much better off like this, where the only danger he poses is to his own self. But...he couldn’t deny her to speak. She said it was important, right? As much as he wants her to keep her strength, he supposed he could listen to her solace one more time.

“Yeah?”

“I...I see it.”

The despaired boy stiffens. “See what?”

“I….” Kyoko relaxes with a smile, although it’s not exactly the reason Naegi was searching for. “I see it- them. I...I understand now…” An amused, crackly hum leaves her as she stares out at the images of all her long lost acquaintances. Even people from her past Naegi got to encounter seem to be there too, all watching... _ all judging. _ They knew this would be her fate wouldn’t it? Not destined to be one of the greatest detectives alive, but to die in some worthless whole where they’ll never be found. They had every right to critique her, even now in this horrid state.

_ And she’s never felt better. _

“I’m...surprised I didn’t figure it out sooner-“ Kirigiri merely ignores his questions, even when he pulls her back with his hands on her shoulders. Her head lulls to the side, barely acknowledging him. She won’t have to soon though, he could frolick in his despair  _ as long as he wanted _ .

“Kirigiri!” He calls, as if she were a mile away instead of a few inches in front of him. It was odd to fully say her name after hours of “Kyo-san”, but perhaps that was the bright red fog beginning to lift from his mind, the  _ poison  _ finally starting to clear. He wanted to kick himself, how could he let things get this bad? It literally took Kyoko being in  _ danger _ and finally giving up on thwarting his suicide attempts for him to have a breakthrough. “You h-have to tell me what you know…. _ please.” _ There’s an edge of a whimper on his voice, brushing back part of her hair to reveal the scarred side of her face.

“I….I get it…” Is all she says. When she repeats it, becomes a skipping record is when panic shoots through his heart, feeling it twist at the sight of his wife. “You just….wanted to see your friends.” She starts, the faintest sensation of warmth trickling down her cheek as a tear rolls past. “Even in their final, most agonizing moments they’re still our friends...and you wanted more than anything to have just another conversation with them.”

Naegi glances away, shame burning bright within.

“But...those conversations,  _ seeing them _ , feeling as though you’re communicating with them…. They just insult you, Naegi. But… But you’d rather take that over never hearing their voices again.”

“Kirigiri, wait I-I-“

“That’s why you didn’t bring your medicine-“ Her shoulders raise a little at that conclusion, smile widening as her eyes fall closed. “You resorted to the worst form of mental self harm just to  _ cope _ , just to get another taste of what once was and what could’ve been…”

Now it seemed as though the whole cave went silen, the echoing drips of water and lapping waves outside having simply been sniffed out like a switch being flipped.

“....Kyoko.”

He...never intended for her to find out-  _ what was he expecting she was a detective- _ and he certainly never intended for her to  _ join in _ on this living hell. “No...no n-no you shouldn’t do what I’ve been doing! Look where it’s gotten me...where it’s gotten you!” 

_ You dragged her down to your level- _

Naegi jolts, glancing over his shoulder at the sudden voice. It was familiar, carrying an airy sweetness with that rich condescending tone to further chastise the boy.

“Wh-Who’s there?” He’s met with the crashing waves as a response, perhaps...just a trick of his hearing. He barely even knew what was hallucinations and what was paranoia induced thoughts.

“But I didn’t  _ understand _ before, and now...I do.” Kirigiri lays back down in spite of Naegi trying to nudge her into getting back up, head resting on his knee. She hardly even feels the stone ground anymore, no longer annoyed by the sensation of wet gravel rubbing against her clothes. Soon she’d be cold, stiff, and lifeless.  _ And she’d get to see her friends again _ .

This was what Naegi wanted, what he was searching for! And how foolish had she been to deprive him of such a sweet reward.

“It’s...poetic, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Wh...What is? Kyoko you’re not making any sense!” Makoto didn’t need to be  _ out _ of despair to know that her actually  _ listening _ to his incompetent rhetoric while under despair was perhaps one of the  _ worst  _ outcomes. 

“Most would say that I deserve to burn...to let the same fate that claimed my hands to succumb the rest of my body all those years ago...but now,” She pauses, eyes fluttering closed, voice just barely a whisper over the waves behind them.  _ “Now I’m going to choke on my own bitter coldness.” _

“Poetic? Poetic!?” Naegi’s voice breaks, body trembling as her form goes limp beneath him. “There’s nothing-“ He stops the moment he realizes she was no longer conscious, shock wavering into sheer terror. A weight had been  _ cut _ from inside him, and crashed all the way down to his stomach, legs numb and arms shaking.

“K….Ky…..”

_ “What a good job you’ve done, Naegi!” _

The voice, that  _ damned _ voice that now turned into nothing more than a  _ taunt _ has him shift, gently settling Kyoko’s unmoving form onto the ground before he makes his way out of the split in the rocky walls. He’s once again greeted with the lagoon, keeping close to the small space of edge, shoes threatening to slip on the rocky surface at any second and be plunged in once again.

His gaze flicks, passing between red and green until a blue haired girl makes his breath catch in his throat. She...she had come from seemingly nowhere! He had his head turned away for a split second and in the next, he was face to face with a waking nightmare. He helps, falling back and hitting the ground, wincing as his elbow collided with the bumpy ground. 

Sayaka merely giggles- perhaps she’s laughing at him,  _ his situation,  _ or it was just a casual, cheery giggle to remind him of the good old days. “And here I was worried she’d pull you back out for the billionth time! Gotta admit it took awhile but...she’s finally given up!” The former pop star places a hand on her hip, Naegi wincing at the disgusting squelching sound as the gash in her abdomen leaks bright pink, further staining her once pure white top. 

“She...She….” Makoto struggles to catch his breath, still reeling from what just happened. He nervously stares out towards the inside of the cave, Kirigiri still resting on the ground, no sign of movement from her save for very  _ subtle _ breathing. “She doesn’t have much time left….”

“That’s exactly right,” The Ultimate Hope whips his head around to the opposite side of him, a programmer in a fetching green dress looking up at him with hazed eyes, blood splattering down their face from the head up. He nearly chokes at the sight of the cord wrapped around Chihiro’s neck, the programmer acting as if it wasn’t on them whatsoever. It...it almost looked as if it were the one thing keeping their head attached, like a string that could be pulled and the whole thing would just lop of. “That means you can  _ finally _ join us.”

“But she...I can’t leave her yet…”

“Why’s that?” Makoto looks across the small pool of water, to the other side of the rocky outer walls to find someone nearly twice the size of the other two. The familiar sound of cracking knuckles forces him to look down at the biker, an unsettling edge making him tense up. “You really gonna slip out on seeing your friends again? I thought you had it in yourself, Naegi, now get to it!”

“Yeah Naegi,” Maizono’s tone sounds more annoyed now. “It kinda hurts that you’d think to spend another second letting our deaths go unavenged when you can fix  _ all your mistakes _ in less than a few seconds.”

His gaze flickers between the three of them before finally resting on Kirigiri once more, shaking his head. “No….No! This has gone on long enough!” He lets out a groan of pain as he shakily rises back to his feet, looking over the now agitated hallucinations. “D-Don’t you see? This is hurting her! And it’s….” He trails off, eyes widening.

_ Kyoko was right _

Even in despair he  _ knew _ she was right, yet...he didn’t take it into account. A sick feeling twists in his gut upon the revelation, feeling so  _ foolish _ that he’d ever deny Kyoko’s advice. She was right about the medicine, right about his despair episodes, and  _ right about how he forces himself into them. _

“It’s...hurting me…”

“That is the point, yes?” The far wall, Makoto now takes notice of the gothically dressed girl checking her well manicured nails, as if nothing around her mattered, accent strong as ever even though her last moments revealed her biggest lie. “You were fully aware you deserved this, and yet...here you are, that precious lavender light telling you otherwise.” She finishes it off with a tsk, walking towards Mondo with a familiar clack of heels, the stone nearly being similar enough to tile in that regard.

“I know I know!” He cries, clutching the sides of his head, running his fingernails through his head nearly  _ dragging them _ along his scalp. “But now isn’t the time-“

“Now is the perfect time.”

“Not until Kirigiri is safe!”

“Psh, safe.” Sayaka chastises with a roll of her eyes. “Sure seems like she didn’t care about you being “safe” during the first killing game. And where oh where was that concern for “safety” about your little girlfriend when she dropped dead in the final killing game, hm?”

“Don’t...don’t you  _ dare _ insinuate that I don’t care!” 

“Hm,” She raises a finger to her chin, as if contemplating something. “Seems to me like you didn’t care when you were gonna cut yourself open!”

“That’s-“

“You didn’t take her thoughts and feelings into account, did you?” She lulls her head to one side, her playful smile splitting into a wide grin. “You acted like you could read her thoughts, that she was  _ disgusted _ with you, something that needs to be taken out of this world. But Naegi, that’s just what you  _ wanted _ her to think, and since you were so,  _ so wrong _ ...well now…”

“Now she’s...I…” Naegi whimpers, attempting to pitifully crawl back over to Kyoko only to be held back Chihiro, the boy surprised by their sudden bout of strength.

_ “Now she’s gotten what she deserves,”  _ The programmer hisses into his ear. “Do you know how much it tears her apart to see you like this Naegi? That this was a byproduct of her “death” from the final killing game?”

“What? No!” He uselessly wriggles in their grasp, only to fall onto his stomach and swiftly be pinned down. “This isn’t- it’s my fault! Mine! I-I made myself like this I got myself...into this…”

“Yeah but her death was the kicker,” Oowada objects, flowering down at him. “Doubt she even bothered to think about how taking the coward’s way out would effect you.”

“She is... _ not a coward,”  _ Naegi spits, shakily lifting his head only for it to be firmly planted back against the ground.

“Oh but she’s certainly a hypocrite isn’t she?” Celestia chimes, her black curls bouncing just the slightest bit. “It’s honestly pathetic, she tries to kill you and then justifies taking herself out of the final killing game along with the fact it’s what lead to... _ this?  _ It’s hard to find what you see redeemable in her.”

“I-In that case…” Naegi huffs, finally managing to weekly pry Fujisaki off of him. “I sh...should be thanking her for creating this despair…” It was a flat out lie, like hell he’d  _ ever _ blame Kirigiri for this or act as though her death paved the way to something great, but if these  _ damned _ hallucinations will shut up… “And now...now you’re chastising her for it?” He blinks, blackness dotting his vision. Apparently, he didn’t have much longer either. But he’d push on, he’d use whatever bit of strength left he had to at least save Kyoko! “If anything you guys...are the hypocrites.”

“Naegi-“

“Makoto!” A new voice interrupts, a new hallucination.”We’re starting to think you aren’t cut out for joining us, if this is the rules you want to play by then there’s no room for you!”

“He’s got a point,” Mondo sighs, resting his hands on his hips. “No room for someone who’d be selfish enough to not take themselves out.”

“Selfish?” He whispers, voice bordering on a growl. “Selfish!? If anything you guys are being selfish!”

“Little pest,” Ludenburg scowls, pointing an accusatory finger at him.  _ “We _ want you to join us.  _ You _ are just wasting our time and our honor!”

More voices chime in, all around, all encompassing, even louder than the waves falling against the rocks, each one of them a taunt, insult, or simply just his name. Tears flood his eyes and for a moment, he thinks about just giving in again. He’s mad them all upset, hasn’t he? And they were right! He should avenge them! But the way they spoke about Kyoko… Why would he want to be with them when he’s spent so much time wanting  _ her _ to be safe and content?

“Just stop already! I am not letting Kyoko die tonight, I won’t She doesn’t deserve to feel a  _ shred  _ what I’m feeling right now....to experience gut wrenching despair and guilt. I deserve this, it’s my fault! Why are you suddenly shifting the blame huh!? What happened to me!? Isn’t it me you want!? Leave Kyoko out of this!”

“Well jeez if you’re gonna be so nasty,” Even Mukuro has joined the fray, despite their limited conversations. At least that was  _ one _ despair sister he could tolerate seeing. “But it’s way too late to help your goody goody princess that you love blowing sunshine into.”

“Shut-“

“Yeah Naegi,” Sayaka crouches down to the sittingboy, tilting his chin up. “She’s already so full of guilt over the fact that she’s a miserable failure. She couldn’t save you this time, and now…”

“Now she’s…. _ she’s going to fall into despair…”  _ Makoto finishes before her, pupils having shrunk down to pinpricks. Oh  _ god,  _ he didn’t mean for this! He didn’t want her to die, or have her last moments be in despair! A consistent string of “no”’s and other please tumble past his lip as he nearly slips back towards the crevice, crawling over to her. He lifts her up, hauling her back into his embrace.

His friends are still waiting outside…

“Kirigiri…” She was nearly cold as ice, skin paper than normal and her body limp. “Kyoko, p-please…” He was just about ready to beg with whatever godly force could prevent a nightmare from becoming a reality, salty tears streaming down his cheeks. He takes in a shaky breath, shaking his head as blackness begins to consume his vision. “No….no no….I have to...have t….” 

He lays back down, body and mind far too exhausted to continue on. His gaze is set on the crevice, still keeping a hold on the unconscious Kirigiri. Maybe this really  _ was _ his fate, but… He wasn’t going to let Kirigiri suffer the same, and he absolutely wouldn’t do it under despair.

His eyes open and close over the brief period of time, eventually transitioning back to a soft green, each breath growing slower as he ticks down the minutes. “Kiri….” He rasps, gently moving part of her lavender locks. “I’m….so sorry….I’ll….get you out though….I promise….” If it should only be  _ one  _ of them leaving safely, it should be her.

He doesn’t know how much time passes, minutes, an hour? All he does is listen intently to Kyoko’s heartbeat as his own stutters, awaiting the cold embrace that is drifting ever closer to him. Then, a bright light, followed by an echoing call.

_ “-down there!”  _ Is all he catches over the loud roar of a helicopter, blowing the lagoon’s water back. A rope ladder descends into the area, Naegi watching intently as a familiar figure climbs down. He first has his sights set on the waters before he spots the crevice, calling up to someone, perhaps reinforcements.

“Ha...Haj….” Makoto can barely form the words, instead offering the girl to him in a final silent plea. “Take...her first…. Make sure...she’s okay.” As for him, he was content with whatever came next, the stunned former remnant looking down upon his friend with Kirigiri in his grasp 

It’s one of the last images Naegi sees before he’s purged into darkness, senses cutting out entirely in an instant.


End file.
